Monday, November 05, 2007
I was recently introduced to WEEN via a certain dashingly handsome and witty artichoke connoisseur. And I was surprised, after hearing so much about the band, that I wasn't really all that impressed at first listen. It was then explained to me that WEEN is a group that one needs to be eased into for maximum appreciation. So I asked for a little help. I suppose I should have stressed "a little" because promptly following that request I was handed
a stack of a dozen albums with instructions to give each album several listens before making a final judgment.
But with a long roadtrip and 3 WEEN shows looming in the approaching distance I decided to take on the challenge so that I could get the most out of my drunken nights of rockin. (and jumping around drunkenly in the crowd without being able to bellow out the lyrics along with other crazed and equally drunk fans just isn't me).
I took the albums and tucked them around places in my every day life. The Pod and Quebec in my desk at work, Chocolate and Cheese, The Mollusk and GodWeenSatan in my car and various other albums stashed in convenient locations like my purse, backpack and accidentally my dads car. (He's a big fan of the country album now, aside from references to big booty bitches on their knees giving blow jobs. I don't think religious people are allowed to laugh at that...though I'm almost sure I've heard him humming the song)
Little by little the songs, the albums, the band have grown on me and I've come to recognize a pattern. With WEEN there are 3 types of songs:
1) Songs I fucking love and can't get out of my head
Where most WEEN songs fall
2) Songs I don't fucking understand
Rampant- and clever- use of metaphors are usually to blame for this category
3) Songs that just creep me the fuck out
read: Spiral Meningitis (though I might slip Spiritwalker into this catagory too)
Many of the songs sound something similar to if OF MONTREAL, PRINCE and CAFE TA CUBA had threeway which produced a crack baby who grew up being molested by Frank Zappa and drank too much during it's developmental years then one day happened to stumble into a recording studio just after taking about 5 hits more acid than he needed to get high.
Sounds like a good reason why their popularity has exploded in recent years according to friends who are long time fans.
I've seen a lot of live shows and I can honestly say that the Santa Cruz WEEN show was by far the most enjoyable show I've ever seen - in ANY music catagory. Followed notably by that I should mention my violent loathing, my soul-wretching hatred, my pure and unadultered antipathy for "the encore". Nothing brings down my musical high like the band faking the end of the show to force the audience to stroke their ego by screaming and chanting their name when everyone knows they're coming back out to play more anyway. Not to say that WEEN didn't have that break in play. I nearly shite myself when I realized that an encore was about to be pulled out of the hat but then I realized that the band had just played for more than 2 hours (none of these shows had an opening act) so when the stage lights continued to pulse and flash to let everyone know it wasn't over followed shortly by the band returning with drinks in hand I felt the resentment trickle away. And the fact that they easily made up for the pause by promptly rocking a face melting mini-set to close the night, well that cemented my understanding of why those who love this band, LOVE this band.
Even being stuck at the back of the nosebleed section at the Warfield San Fransisco couldn't dampen the enjoyment- balcony moshpit anyone?-
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
So let's see if I've got this right, we have a holiday to celebrate the day a guy arrived in a place where there were already people living and that had already been visited by various expeditions from Europe, east asia, the Netherlands and that even the Phoenicians had been to before.
So why don't I have my own holiday? I've visited LOTS of places that already have people living there. And many a time I've visited a place that other people have visited before. In fact, it may even be at their recommendation that I visited.
I also notice that we don't have other holidays commemorating activities that eventually begot the demise of entire races and ways of life. And I promise I'm not over reacting here. (it's estimated europeans managed to wipe out 85% of the indigenous population within 150 years of Columbus' arrival)
I think the US is the only part of the Americas that continues to celebrate this day. Everyone else on this side of the planet has recognized that it's totally inappropriate and have changed the "holiday" to, instead, commemorate the poor bastards who were wiped out by the ensuing wars, smallpox outbreaks and seizure of land and material goods by those "brave discoverers". Celebrated as Día de la Raza (Day of the Race) in most countries in Latin America, Día de las Culturas (Day of the Cultures) in Costa Rica, and the newly-renamed (as of 2002) Día de la Resistencia Indígena (Day of Indigenous Resistance) in Venezuela.
It just seems fucked up, that's all I'm saying. That and I want my own damn holiday
PS- thanks to Garrett for being the catalyst for this rant!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Most recent to catch my eye were articles written about Arnold Schwartenegger and his "girlie man" speech (in which he also used a statement encouraging people to go to the polls and vote to "terminate" the opposition).
"I'm going to TERMINATE my political career"
It's always a refreshing breath of democracy when an office holding human can cut the bullshit, uptight, stick in the ass crap that seems to so often come with the position they've been elected to and have a more laid-back approachable aire about them.
This only really works though if you're not an ex-movie star quoting over used pop culture lines from movies you did 25 years ago. Or also in this case, quotes used in parody of you on SNL. I'm a huge geek with questionable social abilities but even I know that's fucking lame. But this isn't even
at ALL what he's getting shit about!
No mention of how uncalled for or immature or really just flat out inappropriate using the phrases are. Nope. No mention. Oh but here's what they DO come up with…..
…." the governor used the "girlie-man" reference twice in the span of a 16- minute speech aimed at pressuring the Legislature to pass his budget, now 17 days late. The remark is an apparent reference to an old Saturday Night Live skit parodying Schwarzenegger. Comedians Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon played "pumped up" bodybuilders -- Hans and Franz -- with thick Austrian accents. Anyone without a muscled torso was dismissed as a "girlie-man."
Having used his charisma and celebrity to build relationships with lawmakers over the past eight months, the governor is adopting a combative new tone. He said he would strive to oust Democratic lawmakers who vote against his budget.
"I want each and every one of you to go the polls on Nov. 2nd," he said Saturday. "That will be judgment day. I want you to go to the polls. ... You are the terminators, yes!''
The governor's pugnacious turn raised objections Saturday, with the "girlie-man" reference becoming the focus.
"It's really painful to hear the governor resort to such blatant homophobia," said Sen. Sheila Kuehl, D-Santa Monica, who chairs the Senate's Natural Resources and Wildlife Committee. "It's an old-fashioned way of talking about gay men as to indicate they're not as strong. So that part is really painful. And I have to say it's really surprising. It's like he can't get his way so he resorts to some kind of name-calling."
What the FUCK!?!? How in god's name do you come up with homophobia from a throw-back statement to a bodybuilding skit on classic SNL????(Albeit completely rediculous) Other statements accuse his speech as being sexist and derogatory towards women. No, you fucktards, you're giving him too much credit, he's just an idiot.
I'm totally in sync with PC terms that deem language, with negative -or other fucked up historical connotations- inappropriate, however…as much as I'd like to sidestep racial PC altogether, that's just not me And it's situations like this that have me totally confused and annoyed about PC terms.
If someone is black I say "the black guy". If they're white " the white guy'. How is this offensive to ANYONE? I've heard the arguments for "it's not nice to define people by the way they look."
WHAT??? What if I don't know the guys name? If I want to refer to the black guy in the room, I'm not going to discribe him as "the guy with the dark hair. No, no, he has dark eyes and sometimes he wears that cool green shirt…" No offence, but I live in Oregon, he's probably the only black guy in the room and it would save me a lot of time if you would just shut the hell up and let me say black guy.
Because he's black. Get over it! Though if I'm following those PC rules , technically I couldn't say anything about his hair or eyes either.... "what's his name, you know the guy that sits in the back with the great personality and peaceful aura about him". And it's not like anyone's going to call you the spikey-brownhaired- white guy after they know your name.
Ok so, for the moment, being the PC people we are, we should say African-American, Mexican-American, Asian-American etc. But what if your family's not from Africa (or Mexico etc)? I mean, ok, if you go back far enough we're ALL from Africa but what then if you're not American? Mexican-Canadian? Asian-British? And so if you're black and a dual citizen you're really screwed!! AfroColumbiAustralian? Shit. I get a stress ulcer just thinking about it.
Come to think of it that's an interesting thought….. is PC only a language spoken in the US? Something that incredibly confusing, time-consuming and pointless? That would make sense.
Look, now I'm all riled up. Curse you Girlie Man Schwartzenegger!
PS-If you don't believe me check out this link that has some funny (in a very, very sad way) collection of top No-no phrases.... such as "flip chart", "brainstorm" and "black coffee" (WHAT?!?!?!?!)
Monday, May 28, 2007
1. If we are at work don't flirt with us or ask us out or make sensual eyes or rub your tounge along your lips trying to be sexy while you are in the store with your girlfriend. This is creepy. Also do not do any of the above while shopping for panties for your wife. Again, creepy.
2.Do not be a 49 year old fake tanned gymrat and write me something like this: "do you like beffy guys???????? not skinny little geeks?????????"
I will respond like this:
"I'll tell ya what I dig.
One- I dig guys that can spell. As in "beefy" not "beffy".
Which brings me to number....
Two-Geeks. I like them. They can spell. The read books and take classes for fun and hang out at geeky bars where everyone has stretched ears and lots of tattoos and talks politics and art and geeky shit like that.
Three- I dig guys who are not almost as old as my parents."
3. Men, thank god, are fairly simple creatures. Don't just expect them to know why you are mad at them. They are not mind readers. No matter how obvious you think what they've done 'wrong' is, don't expect them to have a clue unless you fucking say something! Do not play passive/aggressive mind games like this with them and then expect me to take your side when you complain about how thoughtless and rude they are. (what? for not apologizing for something they don't know they did wrong??!!) Men, this goes for you too.
4. Girls have boobs. Big girls have big boobs. If I was going to cover that shit up, I'd have to wear a turtle neck all year long. That's not going to happen. Skinny girls who have nice legs wear short skirts to show them off, I have nice big boobs... I'm going to show them off. They are after all just boobs. Your mom has them, your little sister has them, that creepy 200 year old crack lady on the corner has them, get over it.
It's fine to sneak a peek or to compliment my shirt. "wow, your shirt is very flattering" or "golly, you look hot tonight".
It is NOT fine to stare longingly at, drool on or touch the girls without being invited to do so. Keeping this in mind will ensure you go home with all of your fingers, balls and other extremities in tact.
Thanks for reading. Next time, "I shaved my legs for this??? How not to fuck up a date"
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wow, We're really fucking cool.....heh
Go here for a slide show done by the Oregon Daily Emerald: Zombie SlideShow!!!!
Zombie video clips
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Not your typical Valentine's Day
The day of love turns into the day of the dead when dozens of zombie-clad citizens stagger through the streets of Eugene
By: Mark Noack | Freelance reporter |
Valentine's Day, the holiday for love, lust and... zombies. That's right, of all the days of the year, the undead of Eugene chose Valentine's Day to once again roam the earth.
Whether the zombies were suffering from supernatural heartbreak, were beckoned back from the dead by lovelorn souls, or were just plain necrophiliacs, was not really clear. But nonetheless it was a very popular night to be dead.
8:00 p.m. - More than 80 zombies (or rather, the people who were dressed as zombies) in varied states of semi-animated life congregated at Pioneer Cemetery, their eyes sunken, overwhelmed by their lust for flesh.
A few jugs of whiskey were being passed around, and many of the walking dead pulled out pocket flasks and beer bottles from their torn, blood-ridden cloths.
Apparently, all are equal among the dead. Zombies of all flavor came out that night: prom queens, soldiers, pregnant housewives, cheerleaders, surfers, goths, clowns and punks, to name a few. Everyone was splattered with at least a couple pints of what appeared to be blood, and then all joined the chorus of the zombie anthem:
"Brains..... brains... ugghhhhh..."
8:30 - The zombies were on the move, limping haltingly out of the graveyard and back to the living world.
Passing by the Knight Library, members of the mob spotted fresh meat inside, and the whole mob rushed to the windows. Pounding on the windows with flailing limbs, they were rewarded with some raised eyebrows from a lone man diligently reading inside. Little smears of blood dripped down the window after they left.
8:40 - After attacking the Pi Beta Phi sorority house and being shooed away by three women standing on the lawn, the undead mob continued on, stumbling haltingly onto Kincaid Street in search of delicious brains.
Finding none around the University, they were to settle instead for beer.
8:50 - Hobbling over to Taylor's Bar and Grille, the zombies entered, growling for booze. The bartender explained that it was still eight minutes until happy hour. All the zombies left immediately toward Max's.
Apparently, the dead are both impatient and penny-conscious.
9:00 - The undead mob wandered down E. 13th Ave. and a splinter group decided to enter the corner Starbucks franchise. Limping through the line to the barista, one zombie moaned for a mocha cappuccino "and a bran muufff-innnn....."
The manager approached zombie Courtney Anglin and asked her group to leave.
9:15 - A group of 12 zombies were drawn to the bright lights of Sacred Heart Medical Center's emergency room. Covered in blood and with puss-filled wounds, they hobbled in the entrance and through the waiting room. Shuffling past the confused patients while making zombie groans, they then calmly walked out the exit.
Ed Ingersoll, a hospital security guard, saw the undead crowd pass by.
"See that?" he said. "That looks like fun. Not your typical Valentine's Day crap."
9:30 - At Max's, only a handful of zombies could be found. Most, it seemed, went directly to Horsehead - the final destination on the zombie walk.
Recent University graduate Jody Trendler, who was dressed as a dead auto mechanic, sat drinking a beer at the bar while zombie prom queen Mira Horsky munched on her half-eaten hand.
The two women are bakers at Great Harvest Bread, and prepared a number of hands, arms, and other appendages shaped out of bread.
"I've done a Santa Claus pub crawl, but never anything like this," Trendler said.
10:00 - Moving on to Horsehead, it was clear from the street that the zombies had taken over the pub. Shoulder to shoulder, undead patrons crowded the bar, clawing fiendishly for the overwhelmed bartenders' attention.
At one of the tables sat Candee Cole, the director of Religious Education at Eugene's Unitarian Universalist Church, dressed as a zombie cook, soup ladle in hand.
"I was bitten by one of the many zombies who feast at Hometown Buffet," she said, squeezing a small rubber brain.
11:00 - Christopher Anglin, one of the organizers for the event, explained over not-his-first beer that there was no real significance to having a mass zombie rally on Valentine's Day. It was all a coincidence, he said.
"We just picked Valentine's day so we could have some fun." he said. "It's the last day you'd expect to see zombies."
Anglin took a sip of his beer and a stream of blood from the side of his mouth dripped into his drink.
He said that friends of his organized a similar zombie walk last year, alongside a daytime zombie event on Easter.
"That was so that people could bring their families and kids," said Anglin.
The local zombies who carved a swath of bloody, drunken carnage through town organized largely through the Internet and newspapers. MySpace and Craigslist provided a forum for area flesh-eating enthusiasts to meet and plan gatherings. Many zombies told the Emerald that they'd heard of the walk from a short piece in the Eugene Weekly newspaper.
For the living-dead, or their sympathizers who weren't aware of Wednesday's walk, the MySpace group "drunkenzombies" is a quick ticket to meeting like-minded folks.
Several became involved in the zombie walk through local kickball leagues. Players of the gym-class staple, organized locally through the NorthWest Association of Adult Competitive Kickball (NWAACK), can meet Sundays at 2 p.m. at a field at W. 20th Ave. and Washington St. The kickballers have an alliance with several of Eugene's zombies, and, if contacted, may be able to provide contacts within the zombie community.
DATE WITH THE DEAD
"There are a lot of people in and out of relationships that have zombie-like characteristics either from not appreciating what they have, wanting what they can't have or just not being satisfied with themselves." So says 26-year-old nursing student Christopher Anglin, founder of Eugene's St. Valentine's Day Zombie Walk.
Although Zombie Walk flesh mobs occur around the world on various dates (see www.zombiewalk.com),Anglin thinks Valentine's Day is the perfect "Hallmark Holiday" to infect with humorous necropsy...>..>..>..>
"I actually met my fianc..e at a previous zombie walk so it works great as a dating tool. Zombies are HOT," Anglin says. "There will be couples and singles and they will all be wonderfully bloody. I'm personally not looking to make any deep statements about relationships with this event. I just wanna have some fun."
Anglin says the Zombie Walk isn't a political statement or a reason to misbehave. "Anyone that wants an excuse to riot or get drunk and harass people is not at all welcome."
At last year's inaugural Zombie Walk, Anglin and his mob of decrepit faux-flesh-eating souls gathered at the Pioneer Memorial Cemetery, startling unsuspecting citizens. "Every now and then a couple would stroll through holding hands," he says. "We would see them coming and all hide in different directions, then as they passed by, they would have some 20 zombies creeping out of nowhere towards them. Funny stuff." The unsightly mob then shambled into town, occupied various bars, then visited the Sacred Heart ER, much to the delight of the ER staff. He advises participants not to bite anyone for real, especially the police.
Anglin, who admits he has an unnatural obsession for zombie films, says he was inspired to create a Eugene Zombie Walk after reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. "I'm pretty sure the idea came to be after few beers also."
"Why Valentine's Day? Being single at the time and having a lot of friends that were either single or disinterested in the chocolate and flowers celebration, it seemed appropriate. It's fun to give people a shock. To see people forcing a nervous smile or laugh when they see the living dead approaching them. You know there has to be that one short moment when they're questioning whether or not this is the real thing. This really does scare some people. There was an incident in Vancouver, B.C., I believe, where a motorist tried to run some zombies down in his car."
Anglin says costumes and masks are unnecessary. "Zombies are just the average Joe that has become undead." The emphasis is on appearing like you've been dead for a while, and lots of blood. "If you have any extra body parts to carry around and chew on, even better." The second annual St. Valentine's Day Zombie Walk begins at 8 pm Wednesday, Feb. 14 at Pioneer Cemetery (18th & University). — John Dooley
10:23 AM - 1
Thursday, February 15, 2007
So after spending THEE best Valentine's day ever shuffling limply all about town, attacking traffic on W. 11th Ave and in drive thrus, Sorority houses and Coffee shops,Emergency rooms and bars I can only assume that you poor bastards will be looking through these photographic memories cursing the heavens that you once again spent too much money and used too little imagination in your V-day exploits.... Enjoy
PS- If you were there PLEASE share your photos with me, send me a message and/or feel free to download any of the pics for your own memory book.
And now without further ado.....
Zombies- check out that fabu makeup job!
Meeting at the Cemetary
What's up with that skyline? Sweet!
Feeling at home
Shuffling through the graveyard
Sharing the zombie love with a UofO study center
Sorority Girls in the windows-checking out the commotion
Zombie attack on the bus system
Zombie exacting revenge on the renegade group of zombie killers
Our city's finest hard at work...
Shuffling down the sidewalk
What's a zombie gotta do to get a beer around here?? Finally we reach the bar..
Thriller! Zombie dance party...
PS- Yes, I realize that I'm making the EXACT same face in every photo. Thanks.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Does anyone still buy this Valentine's day crap? They must. I walk into a grocery store and it's a virtual mad dash and mauling to snatch up the last tacky celophaned box of waxy goo filled chocolates and bunch of smelly, overpriced, wilting roses. When...what....who...I don't understand!!!!
Men are simple creatures. I love them for that. It's greatly appreciated because god knows we women can be complex and confounding beings. You even us out. But I honestly don't understand things like the cute athletic 20 year old standing in front of me at Albertson's with a heart shaped box of candies he literally dug out of the discount cart on isle 4. And a card I saw him pick up off the magazine rack while waiting in line that someone else had decided against buying. Does he not get it? Does he not care? It seems that he's gotten far too accustomed to living off his good looks to bother putting forth any effort. The scarier thing is that somewhere out there is a girl who's going to squeal with delight, feigned or not, when he hands over the chocolates and the card.... the bouquet of roses and then 'surprise' her with dinner at a restaurant (oh. ah.... yawn)
In case anyone is wondering this would be the quickest way in my book to get dumped. Where is the romance in doing what everyone else is doing? Why is buying expensive jewelry a symbol of how much you care about someone?
This makes me intensely annoyed, nauseated even. I say, how much you care about someone should be directly related to how cleverly you can NOT spend money! How memorable can you make this evening? Money can buy just about everything... Creativity, however is not one of those things. This year, sans date (or much $$), I expect to be very memorable indeed!
Can anyone say V-day Zombie Pub Crawl? That's right, zombie.
A note to anyone I date in the future... If I can find this much entertainment on V-day without you, you've got quite a challenge to outdo do it for next year! Good luck with that!
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