pdx adventure

First, First Thursday of 2012

2012-01-06T17:06:00.001-08:00

Last night was a pretty awesome time. It's was not only the first First Thursday of the year, it was my first ever. I know, weird that I wouldn't be all over that but I guess my mental image of art galleries in the pearl district didn't encourage a lot of enthusiasm. But I was all sorts of wrong.

Location:SW Taylor St,Portland,United States

Kruger's Crossing Cyclocross Classic

2011-11-29T11:58:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago we went out to Kruger's Farm on Sauvie Island with some friends who were in town from Seattle. We actually went out there because the rainclouds looked like they might drift off for a bit and leave us with sun and since Left Coast Country was playing a show out there, it seemed like a perfect late fall afternoon.

What we hadn't expected was a massive Cyclocross race to be in effect. It was muddy. REALLY muddy. It was packed with people jeering good-naturedly at passing riders as they sloshed beers around in one hand and violently shook cow bells with the other. The Captured By Porches beer bus was present, the last of fall crops on display for purchase and parents, kids and dogs all running around like mad, dressed up, covered in mud and having a great time.

Below are a bunch of images from the day. If you're really into cyclocross... or dogs... or people falling down in the mud you can check out the full set on my flickr.

Committed Alternative Bridal Show

2011-11-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Some images from the recent Committed Alternative Bridal Show. Kelly Goode (of June Lion Photography) and I went and checked out some cool stuff that's happening in the world of wedding vendors. While some of the stuff seemed awefuly mainstream for my taste there were some really cool themed scenes set up and a lot of cool people (and a lot of free chocolate)

Moving to Mississippi (...Avenue that is)

2011-07-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty brilliant 2 and a half years living in the Irvington neighborhood but now it's time for some new adventures. G and I have moved up to the Mississippi neighborhood and while we'll especially miss having our most favorite bar/ homework space The Rose and Thistle Pub right down the street, there are opportunities for a whole new realm of local watering holes.

The move was a treacherous double load in the u-haul and 4 weeks later we're still trying to suss out what to get rid of, where to put it, and how to arrange a space that's only marginally larger than the apartment but with double the occupants. That's right, we have roomies! It's hard to say no to saving over $200 a month on rent plus the roomies are musicians and artists, which is something I've been craving to be around.

We've been so busy we haven't had a chance to really check out the neighborhood in a proper manner but so far we've discovered that the new HUB Bike Bar, New Old Lompoc's 5th Quadrant and Robots Love Cupcakes are all in walking distance. Closer to home (at a measly 2 blocks from our front door) is Amnesia Brewing. Muddy's, Cup and Saucer and the fabulous Ruby Jewel Ice Cream. But far and away the most exciting is the fact a short shuffle from our place is the truly awesome Mississippi Studios (our favorite venue) and The Big Egg food cart at the Mississippi Marketplace cart pod.

old apartment. Never looked so clean!

we've already more neighbors here than 2 years in Irvington!

B-movie Bingo is Bonkers

2011-07-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

Monday night marked two notable occasions. One, 4 years of good times hanging with G, the best friend you could ask for and 2. The first ever B-Movie Bingo at The Hollywood Theater.

Now usually this is where I would insert a description about what exactly it is I'm talking about but the title of the event pretty much covers it. You watch a horribly cheese B-movie, you mark off the squares on your bingo card, if you get a bingo, you win.

The genius of the game is that the bingo cards are the same every week. There's really not that much variation between cheesy movies... I know, hard to believe. All the good requisite stuff is present in any good b-movie so that things like "shooting while dying", "long boring scene", "male ponytail", "blown away by an explosion", "fight mano y mano" or "teamed up with rookie or animal" work well for just about any of them.

The only reason the theater wasn't completely and utterly packed to the gills is because this is the first time HT has put this on. I'm pretty sure as word gets out about how awesome it is, advanced purchase of tickets will become a necessity. Keep your eyes open for upcoming B-movie Bingos

If you missed this week's movie, Samuri Cop, you should definitely try to hunt it down and check it out, it's retchedly rad!

"The Japanese Katana Gang have a death grip on the city of Los Angeles, and who better to deal with the problem than Joe Marshall, the “Samurai Cop”. Matt Hannon, who was once Sylvester Stallone’s personal bodyguard, stars in the title role. This is a man that looks like a Dorito. For half of the movie, he wears a woman’s wig with a baseball hat because he got a haircut during production. And regarding his police work: let’s just say… he can “read eyes”. Robert Z’dar co-stars as the evil samurai henchman bent on taking out Marshall. His beard obscures his enormous jaw. This movie has totally awesome music, the best dialogue (hands down) and one of the weirdest fight scenes ever. Be ready for burning humans, severed limbs, gun and sword fights, and lots of long awkward love scenes. Join Joe “The Samurai” Marshall and his sidekick Frank as they take on the minions of the crime underworld. A work of total genius. Written and directed by Amir Shervan."

Personal favorite scene:

Wandering PDX

2011-06-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a good long time (as in never) since we just wandered around town. We hopped the max to W Burnside to check out the ships that were in town for fleet week. As happens with most anything in Portland that's free, the wait to tour the ships was completely insane even in the middle of the day on a Friday. So we wandered people watching, snapping photos and chatting and it was really actually quite exciting. One of those many moments that make me feel so attached to this city.

As we checked out the ships we meandered further and further south till we got to Hawthorne bridge. Walk across to see the ships from the bridge and also managed to capture a man on a Segway hearding a small group of young boys who were marching along in front of him. Immediately after that a woman passing by pointed out the coast guard boats escorting a 2 person kayak past the Navy gun ships.

We continued to Lucky Lab pub for a pint; snapping shots of train graffiti, rooftop art and wheat paste posters along the way. Looking to walk the couple miles back home since we were already on the east side anyway we shot over to Produce Row to meet up with a friend to celebrate her masters graduation. All in all a perfectly fantastic day in p-town.

Summer has returned... kinda

2011-05-31T22:18:00.000-07:00

So it may be a bit premature to claim the sun is back for good (is it ever really?) But this weekend was a great little jump start into that sunny awesomeness as we did a little geocaching in the neighborhood. SO GOOD!!!

FREE BOX! Whoo hoo!

Everyone getting some free box action

Searching for the first geocache container

"on the fence at shoulder level"

Neighborhood alter

notes, shoes, eastern gods

I see it, do you see it?

score!

Dino in the sky

O'Death Returns to PDX... finally!

2011-04-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a long road back to PDX for O'Death. Nearly 2 years after the first time we saw them G and I finally had the opportunity to share one of our all time favorite live bands with some friends. Check to see if they're playing near you soon and be sure not to miss them!

Openers Lee Corey Oswald and Helado Negro were both incredible and definitely worth checking out if you get the chance! Here's more photos from the evening!

Manu Chao kicks portland's ass

2010-10-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

Such an amazing show! Really needed some good kick ass music and kick ass friends!

Music Fest North West- Day 1

2010-09-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

This being my first ever music festival I wasn't quite sure what to expect but 10 bands, 6 venues, 5.5 hours, 2 beers and 1 food cart later I had a good preview of what the rest of the weekend holds in store.

Started the night with a trip to Wonder Ballroom to check out Ra Ra Riot. The place was packed but it might have been my least favorite of the night. Though, I didn't know that then so I was happy enough.

We left after 2 songs and shot over to Mississippi Studios just in time to catch the last couple of songs with Henry Wagons, including a wild call and respond with the audience of "Willie Nelson!" and a song about "Jail" in which he's decided he's tired of get butt raped so he better shape up his attitude so he can get out of jail. Unfortunately we only caught the last couple of songs. I say unfortunately because I think I could have been happy spending several hours listening to him talk and sing. He made me think Flight of the Conchords meets Johnny Cash... but Australian.

Since the show was over pretty quickly we hopped in the car and headed to
the other side of the river to get in early on Ted Leo and the Pharmacists at the Crystal Ballroom.

We got there early enough to catch the last several songs by Seattle art-punk group Past Lives (the only band I didn't get a photo of). Now it's likely, if you've lived in PDX for any amount of time you've heard stories about how bouncy the floor is as the CB. This is no joke and if you get the chance to see a show here be sure to take about 6 steps onto the wooden floor in the ballroom with a friend and bounce each other around. It's apparently very amusing to do if your friend has big boobs....

Following TL&TP, also at the Crystal Ballroom, were local artists The Thermals with their CD release party show for "Personal Life".

From there we left a few songs early to try to catch Red Fang at Dante's but arrived to see a crowd spilling out of the doorway either for lack of room inside or perhaps just a smoke break. We parked the car just down from Berbati's and decided to wander inside to check out the catchy tunes drifting from their back door. I'm glad we did because we got to see some of Frank Turner's set which was pretty fantastic, high energy and fun especially for just one dude and his guitar.

Following Frank Turner we walked down the block to Ash Street Saloon to see what was going on there and found Garotas Suecas (swedish girls) a tropical garage rock funk band from Brazil who were a lot of fun but sadly we only caught their last 2 songs as well.

From there we wandered across the street for a quick bite at a new cart called Killa Dilla. A specialty quesadilla spot which is purported to have the best albacore tuna in PDX line caught fresh on the owner's dad's boat. We of course got the veggie dilla stuffed with finely shredded local cabbage from Sauvie's Island though I felt that I would have undoubtedly been more impressed with the tuna if I ate fish. (a couple carrying burritos walked up shortly after we ordered and were so excited that the dilla cart was opened they ordered the albacore dillas and decided to save their burritos for leftovers!)

We shoveled the quesadilla into our mouths passing back and forth as we walked up the street headed back to Diablo's to see Baroness, a metal band. Garrett really wanted to see them and kept assuring me that we could leave if I really didn't like it... Apparently I never mentioned that I'm actually quite a fan of good metal and let me tell you... these guys are melt your face off FABULOUS! The perfect mix of harmonies and ultra complex guitar riffs peppered with just a little bit of nightmare inducing scream-growling. Yeah. LOVED IT! Cyrus's text message to Garrett summed it up pretty well... "Hey, Aren't these guys a little beefy for you vegetarians?" No, Cyrus because I'm a full on musical carnivore! You should also check out the incredible Art Nouveau style artwork on their website and album covers which I've heard are created by the lead singer!

I really didn't want to leave but by this time of the night, we were bound and determined to hit 10 bands before the night's end so I left Dante's with a shit-eating grin on my face and we headed back to Berbati's to catch some of Justin Townes Earl but I was still on the metal train so JTE's music was too much of a switch for me to enjoy very much... Perhaps another time.

The last stop of the night was wandering back into Ash Street Saloon to see the Bellrays which were a must see for us as they were described as Blues/Soul Punk.... uh, huh? You wouldn't think it could work but it REEEALLY does! Garrett put it best when he said "it's like if Tina Turner had fronted a 70's punk band!"
All in all a great night and a great start to a fantastic weekend of music!

Thing a day- Princess Bride and the Barley Mill

2010-08-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

A small CMN of Princess Bride and a picnic at the park followed by drinks and pestering Ms. Simik at her work, The Barley Mill.

Thing a Day Unnumbered

2010-08-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm not going to be numbering the Thing a Day posts from this point on. I'll still change the dates so that they show up in the right order... I'm just finding that posting stuff regularly and always in order isn't working out quite the way I expected (especially with like 1000 photos from Ohio to go through).

Ohio- in photos...

2010-07-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

Oh, shut up. If you've ever attempted to keep up on a blog then you know first how how tricky it is to keep it up to date or do all the gloriously entertaining things that you promise to do. So, here are the photos from the trip. If you want the stories that go along with them... well just ask!
And now, without further ado....

Thing a Day 30- midwest here we come!

2010-07-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

July 23 - August 2
I was seriously debating whether I would consider the whole trip one TAD or give each day it's own. Well, turns out that staying in a place that had no internet and no cell service I wouldn't have to decide till after we got back. And I'm glad for that because the trip was so jammed packed with doing stuff...all...the...time... that each day easily warranted it's very own post.

It may take me a little bit to get all the photos and stories posted but I'll keep pecking away at it and post-dating them for them to show up on the correct date (as I do with many posts that I take longer than expected to get to) and in the mean time post the most recent TADs as they happen.

ready, set, OHIO!

****
So day one actually begins slowly... and late since G was sleeping off his birthday hangover till like noon. But up 'n at 'em because we hadn't finished doing laundry or even started packing, figuring that the plane didn't leave till 11:30pm and we'd have all day to run errands. Which we did, including buying airplane sized bottles of whiskey for the ride and discovering this is pretty much the best idea ever.

Things get a little foggy here because then we fly BACK in time and meet up with the sun just about 2 hours after take off making that the shortest night ever and arriving somewhere around 7am local time hungry enough to believe that a breakfast sandwich from a truck stop Subway was pretty damn good. But I think this all counts as day 2....

Thing a Day 29- G's Surprise Birthday Day

2010-07-22T23:17:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 22-
So for 3 weeks I planned. I lied and misdirected and kept contact with all our friends in secret to pull this off and it was perfect!

"The Plan:
NOON @ Oregon Beer Fest:
Those coming for the first big surprise you need to be at the Waterfront Park at noon sharp. Meet up with Cassie and others in front of the Oak St. Entrance which is located in the middle of the festival.

If you have questions, get lost, need directions or anything else call Cassie on her cell phone.

I will shoot Cassie a heads up message just before we get off the max and head your way which should be 12:15-12:30 depending on how hard it is to get him out of the house on time. I'd recommend you also take the max as parking will be hellish. Plus it's free, and drops you off one block from the entrance!

LATER @ Oregon Beer Fest:
If you are joining us later than the noon meeting. Go ahead and feel free to shoot a message or call me on my cell to figure out where we are at!

6PM@ Wallace Park for free Concert
Please try to get to the park as close to 6 as possible and keep an eye open for other friends that will also be showing up here and looking for you! We will be taking him to a "surprise" location via street car and hope to arrive at about 6:15ish. The location is: Wallace Park - NW 25 & Raleigh, show is 6:30-8:00 PM.

I'm sure a gathering at a bar like the RAT (Rose and Thistle Pub) will follow and everyone is welcome to join us there!"

It was truly a perfect day!

Thing a Day 28- Mt. Hood Camp Epic

2010-07-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

Friday July 16- Sunday July 18-
Oh. Hell. Yes. I love camping. I don't mind sleeping on the hard ground. The bug bites are totally worth it. And coming home smelling of campfire is pretty much what I imagine heaven to be like (if there was one).

Those who left on Thursday found the most unbelievably awesome site waaaaaay up in the sticks outside of Zig-Zag, Oregon on the river in the shadow of Mt. Hood. I don't think I could have imagined a more awesome place. So needless to say, I see this becoming a yearly tradition. Welcome to Camp Epic!

Thing a Day 27- Left Coast Country

2010-07-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 14, 2010-

Went to see Left Coast Country play at the White Eagle. It was pretty bad ass and I'm always impressed with how much the guys improve everytime we see them, even if it's only a couple weeks between shows. Took lots of photos but even 3 weeks later I still haven't had a chance to edit them all. But soooooooooon. In the meantime here are a couple I've got so far:

Thing a Day- Mr. Fox in the Park

2010-07-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

July 13, 2010
Portland is an incredible city if you like to get out and do things that are social, unique and encourage hanging out with your neighbors. Portland Parks and Rec do a fantastic job of creating active parks with their free movies, concerts and other family friendly events.

We rode our bikes out to Oregon Park, hooked up with a couple buddies to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox and enjoy an al fresco picnic dinner!

Thing a Day 26- Logo Concepts

2010-07-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

Monday July 12, 2010-
So some of the lovely people at Portland State University (PSU) who headup the Party in the Park (and Party Near the Park) hired me to do a logo for the events. I actually spent a couple days working on this am counting it as one TAD. Below are the logo concepts I turned in to them. I'll post the final versions in a couple days.

Thing a Day 25- World Cup Finals & Anniversary

2010-07-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday July 11, 2010-
That's right, world cup finals. It was a long and wild ride and I'm sad to see it go. Though, now I'm more excited than ever for PDX's very own MLS team to get their asses here and playing games for my sheer enjoyment. But mostly I'll miss having a perfectly valid reason for being at the bar at 7am and drinking.

I made a huge veggie breakfast complete with fresh veg scramble and herbed homefries. It's a good thing we had kickball later in the day to help run off some of it.
Another big deal about this TAD is that G and I celebrated 3 years together. Even though we are insanely broke right now we tried to recreate the first date of coffee>movie>bar but on the cheap. Like, REALLY cheap. We walked the neighborhood trying to find a coffee shop that was open at 8pm and with no luck opted for cold starbucks lattes from Plaid Pantry. We took our coffees home, sat on our tiny porch and read questions out of a book I've had for years called Getting To Know You. We talked for more than an hour since the book asks weird questions you'd never think to ask someone and we ended up bunny-trailing off into stories we'd never really talked about. We followed that up with rewatching Hot Fuzz, which neither of us had seen since our first date and shared a beer that we somehow scraped together enough change to buy. (Holy crap, I'm glad my paycheck came in, being THAT broke really sucks. Hard.)
All in all it was a pretty great day and I'll finish it off by posting pics from the beginning of it all >. G, you're a rad dude! Thanks for everything.

Thing a Day 24- Trek in the Park

2010-07-10T23:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday July 10-
Portlandians LOVE anything and everything that supports the unofficial motto of "Keep Portland Weird". Zombie walks, naked bike rides, zoo bombers, amature porn festivals, Plunder-a-thon among hundreds of other happenings. TAD 23 fits happily into that definition, if you consider a small group of rag-tag theater nerds reenacting a classic episode of Star Trek in the park for free and hundreds of people coming to check it out, weird. Atomic Arts did a fantastic job of using minimal set and props and the musical score was live... and awesome!

Aside from being weirdos and general cacophonsits we like normal things too. Though it's more often than not an unnatural or unusual take on those normal things that catch our eye, we are major foodies, artists, coffee and beer connoisseurs which is why things like the Mississippi Street Fair (or really any street fair or block party) is so well attended.

Trek in the Park, along with a picnic dinner was a great way to wrap up an overly sunny and warm trip to the street fair.

Thing a Day 23- Washogol River

2010-07-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

July 9-
Another hot and sweaty day! Seriously loving it! Today we piled into a minivan with missing seats and bombed up to the Washougal River in Washington with about 4 other carloads of people. We stopped at a couple places along the river for natural waterslides which weren't nearly as smooth as you might hope, rock diving, beer drinking and just floating while soaking up some sun.
It's days like this that make me fall in love that much more with living here!

Thing a Day 22- Hobby & Craft Night

2010-07-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

July 8th-
Another scorcher but it's supposed to cool down a bit. A whole gaggle of people went to Miss Eva's to work on crafts, create art, collaborate and sip wine. It was laid back but I think a lot of good connections were made.

Thing a Day 21- Fancy Fountain Photoshoot

2010-07-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 7, 2010

The last couple days have been pretty warm and this day was no exception, rather it hovered just above 100 degrees most of the day. So of course that seems like the perfect setting to get a whole bunch of friends together mid-day, have them dress in their fanciest clothes and make them run through the water fountain at Holliday Park (across from the Lloyd Center) while I take pictures.
I loved the fact that like 12 of my buddies showed up! In the middle of the day! In the middle of the week!

Thing a day 20- photo editing

2010-07-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

July 5 & 6, 2010
Nothing terribly exciting for a reader to observe but spent these two days healing from the hangover and catching up on photo editing including the ones from the 4th of July Party. I also did work stuff on the 6th but that doesn't really count for these purposes.

Thing a Day 19- Hillbilly Hoe Down

2010-07-05T11:23:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Fouth of July. The day when Americans commemorate the hard work and sacrifice of life given by americans who came before us by getting wasted and blowing shit up!

Let it never be said that the PAPSEK crew ever failed to take advantage of ANY occasion to dress up in costume!

Thing a Day 18- Enchiladas

2010-07-03T23:01:00.000-07:00

Kept it local tonight and made some tasty ass 4-bean enchiladas. I don't use recipes very often but it's actually pretty great. Except for when we end up eating left overs for 3 days because I made a recipe to serve 10 with just the 2 of us. Ah well at least they were good and make great breakfast scrambles.

Pimpin Covers

2010-07-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

There were some epically rad pics from the Player Haters Ball and I just couldn't help but have a little fun with them. Surprisingly, design this bad is actually much harder than you'd think... which I suppose says something good for all my schooling.

Thing a Day 17- Downtown Concerts

2010-06-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, June 30
One of the many awesome things about PDX's summers are the incredible abundance of FREE stuff to do around town. Being as insanely broke as we are this summer, this is a huge plus about living here. You could honestly probably do something around town every single day of the week all summer long and never spend a single dime if you have a bike and a small cooler.

We went to check out Portland Center for the Performing Arts' free outdoor summer concert series
call Music on Main St. We checked out a band we hadn't heard before called Pancake Breakfast and were pleasantly surprised by their wide range of styles throughout the show.

We followed the show up by walking a block to eat a 'picnic' dinner of cold leftover pizza in the park blocks and people watch then hopped the max home. Happiness!

Catching up and diaper quotes

2010-06-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

Monday and Tuesday this week were a fail as far a getting Thing a days done. Mostly spent my time at home catching up on all the bills and other random stuff that needed to be updated, checked on or otherwise resolved. Tuesday I went in to the office on campus to work and meet with the new Department head (who seems to be a super rad lady) and I'm stoked to see how this new team moves the Center into Department status.

On another note I took a low res snap shot of my first QUOTES drawing that I did sitting around during art walk last week. It was something my niece realized last year at age 2 and was really excited to share with me. I've got a lot of those that I imagine will make it into the series by the time I'm done.

TaD 16- B-day Kickball and backyard BBQ

2010-06-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sunday June 27

A great day full of kickball, sunshine, friends, beer, shotgunning, flip cup and some weird wine bag slapping "game" called Slap the Bag where you take the bag of wine out of the box, slap it, then drink it. I didn't understand the point but it was somehow still really funny.Even though today isn't a usual Thing-a-day type day (creating, experiencing, drawing, learning etc). I'm still counting it as one because of it's utter perfection as a laid back time with good friends and it can be hard to get everyone together in one place at the same time.

Tad 14 & 15- Organic Brew Fest

2010-06-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

Friday June 25
So being broke (as many of us often are during the summer without financial aid checks to help cover costs) G and I have been trying to get creative with ways to do the cool stuff we want to do. Can't afford all of Portland's many brew festivals? Try volunteering! We signed up and worked a 2-6pm shift, met cool people and learned the finer points of how to work the beer fest system (apparently you should try to get on the first shift of the weekend so that you can try all the unique beers while there are still kegs of it left and also the last shift of the weekend so that you get to attend the after party where the volunteers and brewers kill off what's left of all the tapped kegs from the festival)

We weren't able to stay for too long afterwards because of the need to get home and prepare Cheesy Movie Night at out house. This week was the childhood summertime classic The Sandlot. But mostly people just got really drunk and visited.

TaD 6-13 - art, music, frisbee

2010-06-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get so busy that you can't even recall what you did earlier that same week? That explains pretty well my last 9 days.
Last weekend was father's day, spent in Eugene with the parents. I'm sure something happened on Monday but I've been racking my brain to remember and have come out empty handed or minded as it were.

Tuesday June 22
The troops were called out to meet up for an impromptu evening at the park which ended up with a 20 player game of Ultimate Frisbee. Fun, but there's a hell of a lot more running in UF than kickball. At least the way we play.

Wednesday June 23
The troops rally at the venue Mt. Tabor Theater to see friend Gabe's new project Wy' East play.

Thursday June 24
Walked to Alberta Street for the Last Thursday Art Walk. Hung out in the booth with Cassie (selling Honey Bijou jewlery) and Natalie (selling her Budding Homemaker- the cutest aprons you've ever seen)

Thing a day 5- 7am World Cup Soccer

2010-06-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

Fri. June 18

Kim was in town and it's a pretty sure bet that her mention of a very early morning get-together to watch the US v. Slovenia some place local (since she was in town) meant she'd actually show up. (Some friends aren't quite what you'd call early birds-including us)

At 6:45am G and I strolled a few blocks down to the R.A.T (Rose and Thistle) because we'd seen they were opening early for games and we hoped this meant the really early games such a this one too. We figured we'd show up, grab a table for anyone else who showed up and maybe have a bloody mary. What we DIDN'T expect was our favorite local spot to be twice as packed as we'd EVER seen it on the busiest friday night, shoulder to shoulder standing room only full of laughing, cheering, jolly drunk, Portlanders. At 7:10am. On a weekday. (it should be noted there were 2 other places on the SAME block showing the game, serving booze who were equally full).

Though my suspicions are that PDXers are more interested in the ability to sit at a bar getting sloshed at 7am than watching international soccer, the reaction to goals made and lost still have me second guessing that sentiment.

Joined later by my sister and friend Rob (both with massive hangovers from cheap wine around the backyard fire the night before) we left the RAT for some after-game breakfast at the Mississipi Marketplace Cart Pod. G and I discovered the cart The Big Egg a few weeks ago and have been dying to introduce the best ever breakfast burrito to other people. (Don't believe me? See what other people have to say about it!)

The beauty of the Mississippi pod is that they are in the paved and covered lot adjoining the bar Prost! at it's outdoor patio. The patio opens out into the cart area and signs at the entrance tell visitors that cart food is welcome if you're drinking. well, DUH! Of course we're drinking!

We got our burritos and Monte Carlos and sat on the patio with giant german biers, enjoying the long awaited sun and outstanding breakfast. By noon, we went our separate ways... presumably to take naps.

Thing a day 4

2010-06-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

Wed. June 16

Started going to the gym. I've actually been a part of this gym for quite a while but you know how that seems to always work out with the whole paying even though you're not going because someday you're going to start going on a regular basis... so...yeeeahhhhh.

Anyway, the Lloyd Athletic Club kicks ass. It's super cheap for students,includes membership to 4 area gyms (one with a pool!) has dance inspired aerobics classes such as zumba, racquetball and a bar. And I'm not talking the kind for doing chin-ups!

This is mostly because the kball crew has decided to do a summertime fitness challenge. 3 personal fitness goals in 3 months ending with Portland's Walk for the Cure and possibly a group roadtrip to Cali for In-n-Out, camping and The Price is Right. I'm hoping to merengue off 20 pounds, limber up to splits-capable status and make it through an entire zumba class at full hip-shimmying speed without having a heart-attack.

photo courtesy of Zumba Fitness LLC

Thing a day: 3

2010-06-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

Wed. June 16
Saw Cyrus play a show!
Realized that I have friends who are jaw-droppingly talented. Dressed in all white and playing synth, drums, guitar and singing - often all at the same time- he was witty, engaging and thoroughly enjoyable to watch. The only way for my musically limited mind to even try to describe it is maybe Buckethead meets Ween, and after a bluesy one night stand has little black haired bichon-frise pups all over the stage at a megadeath show. I loved it!

Cyrus is also:
a ritual master
a tweeter
a picture taker
on youtube
an artist

Thing-a-day- clean house

2010-06-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

So the sun has decided to finally join us. Unfortunately he brought that asshole friend of his, Grass Pollen. Man, I hate that guy! But he's only staying for another week or two so I guess I'll just have to focus my efforts towards more indoorsy type things.
I'm posting all my thing-a-days for the first week here to get you caught up on the shennanigans then I'll try posting every day. (but we all know how well that's worked out in the past:)

Tuesday June 15-
Started Operation Cleaning House. Deep cleaning ever corner, purging every box in storage, tossing most of the useless knick-knacks that have been in drawers, unused for years. Before picture are below and after pictures coming soon! (yes, damnit! because I haven't finished yet!)

Ready, Set... SUMMER!

2010-06-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

Seeing as how my To-Do List has projects that have been waiting at least 6 months on it I'm jumping right in to summer break with Thing-a-Day postings. Projects, photography, illustrations, special events, trips, accomplishments... whatever thing it is that I do that day!

DAY 1- Saturday June 12th
The first weekend free in months! Spent it at the beach doing nothing. And by doing nothing, of course, I mean working. Finally getting caught up with the back log of photos from daily goings on!

Penelope's 3rd Birthday Party

No rest for the wicked

2009-11-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

We are so blessed. If a blessing is the right word to use. Lucky maybe? Perhaps fortunate is what I'm looking for. Sounds less religious or Las Vegas than the other two.
Anyway, life lately has been an utter mad house. With this group of friends it seems there is something going on nearly every night.

Between kickball, Cheesy Movie Night (CMN...say it outloud, it's funny), birthdays, slumber parties, bar crawls, zombie walks, beer tastings, general Portland cacophony and now a fabulous post-modern style reading/ performance group added into the mix, I'm beginning to understand why my homework and projects are suffering.

I'll be adding links to photos and events soon so if you want to check it out, please do! There's always room for more in this group of weirdos!

oh btw, one word. Poutine!

Stereotypical blogger...

2009-10-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

I'm so bad. So very bad. For the summer I had plans, lots of awesome artsy plans. I figured well, I can't get a job this summer so I'll learn to play the guitar, I'll draw and doodle and make hand drawn type and amazing, fun, creative projects that I've been dying to work on... then the 2 summer jobs I applied for all called and gave me the positions plus several photography/design jobs came in and suddenly I watched my entire summer of creativity slip away into the desperate need for a paycheck seeing as how Garrett was laid-off due to lack of work at his job.

Needless to say, with 3-ish jobs I kept so busy I never really got anything done, that I'd planned. But at least we could still pay rent!

Time to get back on the blog wagon for sake of my sanity and keeping friends/family informed. My Type Whore design blog will be updated more regularly as well so, there ya go!

WORKIN FOR A LIVING:

OK, IT WASN"T ALL BAD:

Photo a day- day 3- Rock Banding

2009-07-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

In a desperate attempt to get in some photos under the midnight deadline for the day I snapped a few pics of an impromptu Rock Band get together in our living room. Actually I think I came home from hanging out with my sister to Garrett pounding away at the drums in a sultan's robe he found the day before at The Bins for like a dollar, quite proud of himself that he'd figured out how to grab his PBR and take a swill without losing the beat. His friend was slouched down in a chair I found on the side of the road earlier in the week poking away at the plastic guitar.
They eventually talked me into trying to sing along. I tried to sing "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet which is definitely a screaming kind of song if you wanna hit those high notes. I pulled my throat muscle. No joke. Could barely swallow for 2 days and my voice kept cracking. Stupid Rock Band. And here is the rest of it.

Photo a day- day 2- Goodwill Bins

2009-07-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

We met up with some new friends and headed over to the Goodwill outlet store also known as "The Bins" in Beaverton. Basically you dig through bins of stuff, collect your treasures and checkout with pay-by-the-pound discounts! I'd heard some crazy stories about people getting in fist fights over electronics and others accidentally grabbing poop filled underwear hidden under top layers of clothing. And to be sure, you should make regular trips to el bano to wash your hands if your a germ-a-phob but I kind of wonder if it's all blown out of proportion on yelp by some sneaky hipsters who just want to scare others away from all the goodies to be found.

I thought this was really cute and mom on the left side of the pic was super embarrassed that I was capturing her kid in the bins saying "oh my gosh, that's going to look so white trash of me". Good times!

And here is the rest of it.

Photo a day- day 1

2009-07-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

So I decided to do a photo a day. I'm going to start with a month and see where it goes from there. So far I think I've only technically missed 2 days but starting this I was less concerned about taking the pictures than actually putting them on my computer and getting them online in a reasonable timeline. So here's my first attempt, Enjoy!

From a shoot I did for a block party style wedding complete with old-timey trio musicians and gaggles of adorable screaming kids hopped up on sugar and sunshine.
This is one of my favorites with the two older ladies on the porch surveying the mayhem.

And here is the rest of it.

Big Ass Food

2009-05-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

I can't quite figure out why whoever it is that grows my food, seems to think I want bigger food. Have you ever tried an onion the size of a human head? It burns the shit out of your eyes when you cut it, assuming you have a monster sized knife BIG enough to cut it, and tastes a little like spicy feet. This is also true for big ass zuccini. Minus the spicy part. You think you're getting a good deal but really, everything just sort of tastes like feet once it gets that big.
Feet, by the way, do not taste very good.

Fariday....NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (LOST spoiler alert)

2009-05-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday brought us a sad and unexpected (see photo below!) moment in our regular repertoire of LOST rollercoaster like emotional states.

As some of the biggest LOST dorks around we use skype to enlarge our weekly LOST parties to include friends in Eugene. It's handy for getting good group conversations, guesses, theories and philosophical conversations about the plot lines going. It's also good when they have the wits about them to capture moments like this.

A screen cap from Eugene's perspective of us in PDX reacting to our favorite character meeting an untimely (and TOTALLY unexpected) end.

7-11's Big Ass Rat

2009-04-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I think Portland's big ass rats are more cool than they are scary? Maybe I haven't been properly introduced to what city rats are like because I see them and I keep thinking I should take it home, put it in a cage and teach it to do tricks for bread crusts like my cousin did with his pet rats when we were growing up.

Yeah. That's wierd.

you know you've picked the right major when...

2009-04-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

You spend 10+ hours a day your whole spring break working on projects that aren't due for any class just because you can't get enough design, typography, photos, art, posters, tshirts, illustrations etc etc etc...

you know you're on vacation when...

2009-04-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

The most important decision you'll make today is which beer to get before walking down to race your beach bikes.

Wickedly bad... and not 'Good' bad...

2009-04-05T19:54:00.000-07:00

I love musicals. LOVE THEM. I guess I expected a lot more from Wicked with the book being so stunningly imaginative. But everything I loved about the book was thrown out and rewritten to subdue the dim-witted masses that clamor for happy endings and for every little freakin detail of a plot to be explained to them at length so that they can be sure they don't have to use their underdeveloped senses of rationalization and theory.
CRIPES!
Don't get me wrong. The acting, for the most part, was good. The costumes were sheer design genius. Some of the music was pretty ok. The 'special effects' and sets are what I would expect of a 14 million dollar stage production. But the story left me in tears. Tears that spill forth when someone has pillaged, raped and utterly dumbed down to oblivion the beauty of the original story.
Marty Hughley of the Oregonian puts it in an equally dispassionate, though more eloquent way: here at this Oregonian review of Wicked

This picture is a perfect depiction of our feelings about the show, even at the intermission.

Star Wars Trilogy (kind of) in 3 minutes

2009-03-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Homebrewin

2008-11-19T12:53:00.000-08:00

We have discovered the beautiful, nearly spiritual process of homebrewing. G and I are giving out bottles of our first batch as xmas gifts (since we're broke, as usual). Plus the idea that everyone can use another beer is quite valid. I made labels for this batch which, of course, are clever and amusing. Being a milk stout which is usally a holiday or winter ale we went with SLAY BELLS in keeping with the planned tradition of naming all our beers after some aspect of horror movies. Here's a little peek at how it went.
Cheers!
Garrett Pitching the Yeast after brewing

Garrett Checking the Blowoff (heh, heh, 'blow') Tube.

Bottling Time!

Me Getting Sidetracked and Over Filling a Bottle

The Labels

Spam at it's best

2008-10-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

www.Spamshirt.com
I'm working on finally getting my own online mini-store going. I've got a couple dozen ideas for product designs but the never ending plague of acute procrastination that I suffer from makes it difficult to get done. I thought this was a very clever way to go.

Michelob Tasting....yes, Michelob

2008-10-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

It might seem strange that in the hometown of the microbrew that anyone would bother driving across town to go to a beer tasting that involves MICHELOB. But it was just too strange not to check out.
There were several that were actually not too bad. Depending on the price I might actually consider buying them on those days that I don't want to go the PBR route but don't have the dough for... well, pretty much everything else.

BTW, The Belmont Station have a phenomenal selection of beer. My only problem with it might be that making a selection is a truly formidable task. (I'll have a more in depth review in the review section, soon)

More Cleverer Than the VPs

2008-10-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have to say I was a little disappointed in the VP debate. I was hoping for a trainwreck, just like everyone else. And to be honest I might have secretly been bracing for a super duper mega trainwreck. I'm talking 'super speed train full of fluffy bunnies and baby kittens plows through a double decker bus of small children on their way to a Gerber baby look-alike contest' kind of horror show. But that wasn't even anything more than 'a cow on the train tracks that the conductor saw in just enough time to pull the e-brake and stop safely except for a couple of tea cups falling off the shelf and cracking in the dinner cart' let down.

So maybe that's why we found our 'bring your cleverly named dish to the debate' dinner so funny.
* Joe Biden Buffalo Wings
* Bridge to No Where Nachos
* Homeland Security Hummus with Putin Pita Chips
* Bailout Brownies
and of course, Alaska Amber Ale!

Back to School-day 1... fareless square and humping dinos

2008-09-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

I feel quite proud of myself for hunting down a much more efficient public transpo option for school. Originally looking at a ride on the max and 15 or so blocks of walking each way had me look for an alternative and the number 8 bus is my savior knocking that 15 blocks down to 2 and since it's all in Portland's life saving FARELESS SQUARE I don't have to pay for crap. You don't get as much sun or excercise with that option but with the rain soon to be upon us, I'm not complaining. The only other bummer is that with such a short walk to class the only coffee shop with in 6 blocks is a f*cking Starbucks. I just cant. (a weird note about PSU campus, it has like 4 Starbucks! This is Portland, does anyone actually drink Starbucks, much less enough people to warrant 4 of them??)

Since oreintation, I've been a little concered about whether or not I'm actually making it into the correct classes. My schooling in the past was a 1 year basics/1 year intensive program which is hailed as one of the best in the country but doesn't give you alot of time to develop your own design style NOR do the credits translate to a 4 year school very well. At orientation the councelors mostly shrugged their shoulders and asked me if the class description sounded like something I'd already learned. It should be noted that class descriptions are equally as generic as the names of the classes themselves (type, page design, digital communication... What do those even mean??)

The teacher is a cute, recently graduated grad student/designer/artist/press owner who reminds me of Bam Margera from Jackass. Other than that I was also surprised at the relative normalcy of the other students. I guess I was expecting a bunch of people dressed in black with scarves and shagged hair brooding over glossy design annuals or something but they were all pretty normal looking if not seemingly incapable of speaking. Questions asked by the teacher barely elicited a nod from the bunch. All of them that is except for THAT GUY....THAT GUY had on jeans and a shirt, a wooly unshaven face and as I looked at him I surmised that he might be that funny guy that everybody gets along with, or maybe a quite shy kid who has a knack for sketch art but no... it looks as though THAT GUY is going to be filling the position of the socially inept tool who can't keep his mouth shut regardless of how inappropriate the timing but never fails to crack himself up, loudly.

"Ha ha ha, where'd all the pens go? Like they got lost in the bermuda triangle of pens? Ha ha ha, Where'd they go, that's an important question, ha ha ha" (What the F*uck is THAT GUY talking about?!?! He's talking about pens, what??!)
---
Teacher: "so do any of you ever spend time looking through the design magazines at Powell's (an enormous, much loved and locally owned bookstore)

THAT GUY: "Does Borders count?" HA ha ha ha ha h... (borders being the oversized international chain loathed by most locals for putting small guys out of business the world over)

Teacher: "no"
---

Teacher: "so here are several examples of magazine design, easy to find on the internet" (as he flips through several web pages)

THAT GUY: "OH WAIT, GO BACK! IS THAT TWO DINOSAURS HUMPING? HA HA HA HA H AHA HA HA!"
----

I've decided I'm giving THAT GUY exactly one more class to get his act together before I exert my authority as the oldest person in the room (yes,even older than the professor) so therefore I don't give a shit about anything except THAT GUY shutting up.
That's my new mission. "Curse you THAT GUY! I WILL bring you down!! (or at least get you to keep your f*cking yap closed for most of class)
And here is the rest of it.

Stumptown Cupping

2008-09-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

I like to be hipster about things. I like to turn up my nose at the grotesque humanitary practices of places like Walmart that reach from the local single mom pulling the night shift even though they're screwing her out of healthcare benefits to the children in the sweatshops that most of the products there come from. I want to proclaim "I'd rather DIE than drink at Starbucks" or take the time to learn the history about all the places I shop at so that not a single penny of mine inadvertently goes to supporting the KKK.

The truth of the matter though is that I shop at Target who, while doing great things in the local communities, are probably owned by the same people who own every other big box store and probably buy their products from sweatshops, but only the ones that don't use children.

The truth of the matter is, I sometimes drink starbucks because they ARE on every corner and I'm a lazy fuck sometimes and don't want to go wandering all over the city looking for a not-starbucks who may or may not have decent coffee.

The truth of the matter is I'd only shop organic, local, fresh, raw, free-range, no-additives, majik fairy food and produce if I made about $1000 more a month and had 6 hours a day I could dedicate to cooking from scratch. But I don't.

And I feel bad about it. I WANT to be able to support my local community, my friends and neighbors, the small farmers. I WANT to support places that support their suppliers, that take care of their workers, that offer above minimum wages to the people who grow, create and produce the things I buy and use. But sometimes it's just hard not to lose sight of how closely we are all connected. So then I drunkenly make the taxi driver swing by taco bell on my way home. *sigh*

Emily suggested we check out a cupping that was happening at Stumptown. Stumptown, for those of you living in a small cave with bats (or from out of town) could best be described as a minimalist version of Starbucks with an eye solidly on the bigger picture. Cuppings are essentially wine tasting but for coffee. I'm already a coffee snob of the 8th degree (this is about the level where even with a hangover you will actually turn down a bad cup of coffee or get up and leave to a different restaurant if someone says 'it's not so bad if you put in a lot of sugar') so this was especially up my alley.

The biggest draw of the evening though was that they were going to be doing a cupping with single origin coffees from Costa Rica. (Em and I spent a lot of time in CR so anything 'tico' has a special place in our hearts). The large majority of coffees available are blends, meaning that the beans in that particular coffee come from more than one farm, region or even country. These beans were all from their own micro-farms and the people who own and work these farms were present to talk about their places and processes. It was pretty amazing and for the first time in a long time I felt like I truly didn't mind paying $3.50 for a cup of coffee. It was exciting to see how people who are (insanely) committed to and excited about coffee can make a difference by treating everyone who has a hand in the process with respect and value for their part.

MacBook Prooooooooooooooooooo

2008-09-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I felt nervous, my hands visibly shaking. I giggled uncomfortably and took a deep breath as he appeared from the other room. I couldn't help but stare, it was so beautiful. It was as if I could look forever and never be able to get my fill. He came closer and just laid it out there in the open for me, prompting me wordlessly to grasp it with my fingers. I looked over my shoulder at my boyfriend for reassurance that he was still ok with this. He smiled a quiet half smile, and I couldn't tell if it was lust or jealousy that flashed in his eye.

We finished up, I gathered my things and paid the man his money. As I walked out, I felt comforted that my feelings of doubt and shame at having spent so much money had been almost entirely swallowed by excitement and the plans of all the things I was going to be able to use this for in the future.

I suppose it's a testament to how truely nerdy I am. Financial Aid for school is allowing for enough extra money that I can spring for a new computer. My first new one in nearly 5 years. It's better than finding money on the sidewalk. Better than christmas. Better than sex! Well, at least that sloppy drunken kind that you fall asleep halfway through.

Talking Books

2008-09-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

Went to see Irvine Welsh speak at Powell's today. Yesterday we saw Chuck Klosterman. It's little events like these that make me adore Portland. Maybe the novelty will wear off eventually but I have my doubts.

I think I'm going to start making sure I post short memos about all the weird events we go to. There are a surprising lot of them.

Front porch

2008-09-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

It's not the 5-15 people chillin on an enormous craftsman style covered deck like in the 'old days' in the Whiteaker, but the people are good and there are 40s.

Get me outta here...

2008-08-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

With only 16 days left here in the southern Willamette valley (Eugene/Springfield) before I can finally breath the fresh breath of Portland's low pollen count breezes I find it getting harder and harder to bide my time, mostly because of crap like this.

Walking to the bus station this morning on my way to work I noticed some very serious construction going on, blocking through traffic for a couple blocks. I had to detour to find a sidewalk that was still in useable condition. This little adventure took me right past some of the buildings actually being put up.

Quite a nice looking building I might add. I asked one of the construction workers what was being built and he gave me a strange look (apparently this building is the most exciting thing to happen to people in this area in a while and how could I possibly not know).

It turns out this not completely mediocre archetecture is, of course, the new jail.
I couldn't fathom why in the world they'd be putting a jail right in the middle of downtown. Then I found an article that explained everything:

"The proposed Springfield Downtown Urban Renewal Plan would assist in the revitalization of business and elimination of blight in the downtown area."

OF COURSE! Springfield knows there is no way to "eliminate the blight in the downtown area" like putting up a jail instead of, say, businesses, or cafes, or GOD FORBID, apartments that don't look like crack dens, flop houses and meth labs. (though it does mean a much shorter trip for the cops when they bust the drugged out wack jobs that make up most of the pedestrian traffic in downtown springfield)

Any good urban renewal planer knows you don't start by revitalizing the library (what does a library need windows for anyway?) or giving city hall a facelift so it doesn't have to share bathrooms with the library anymore. You certainly don't stop giving the ok for yet ANOTHER dark, seedy stripclub to open it's doors to the waiting public or another questionable looking taqueria-mobile to set up shop along main street wherever the wheels of the cart happen to go flat.
Nope. You spend $28.65 million opening a jail. Downtown.

The only good to come out of this is that the police department and municipal court will finally get to move out of their present home (for the last 35 years):
- their present building is so insanely ugly that a photo of the actual building cannot be found on the www but to give you an idea here is the post office right down the street which looks very similar:

and the view across the street from the current Police station/court;

To this:

This is something that was voted on and passed by the voters of Springfield. And I can't figure out if it was an oversight, the voters way of sticking it to the man while giving him what he asked for or just plain stupidity but come October 2008 when the construction is slated to be finished, there will be a brand spankin new 100 bed jail that will sit empty. Because while the voters passed to have it built, they did not provide a way for operating expenses to be covered.

3 weeks till I move to PDX!!!!!!!

UPDATE: They just started tearing up the street outside my parents house. The new street outside my parents house. The new street that was just put in 7 months ago outside my parents house. And they like to start the jackhammers at 7:58 every morning.

Moving Day, Part 1 - Across Town...

2008-08-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

I never cease to amaze myself.

I like to think of myself as basically a minimalist. I'm perfectly happy with the basics. I don't need a lot to make me happy and I tend to get frustrated and stressed when there's a significant mess.

So how is it that I have SO MUCH CRAP!?!?!
How did I amass this mess of doo-dads, nick-nacks, and momentos that are crammed into every goddamn corner of my tiny room? And how did I never notice it till 4 hours before the moving truck will be here? (don't ask why I didn't start till 4 hours before the moving truck.
My issues with procrastination are a whole other story)

The other part of this that makes it worse is that I can't seem to bring myself to trash this junk. I'll admit
that it's fun to have that wave of memories come rushing back to me when I inadvertently pull a wrist band out of a drawer full of other pointless souvenirs, but I haven't see this thing probably since I drunkenly wrenched it off my wrist and crammed it in my junk drawer before passing out half dressed onto the bed.

And why can't I seem to free myself of clothes that I've "outgrown". I don't consciously believe that I'll get so motivated or even care enough to lose the weight needed to squeeze back into an entire wardrobe of clothes I haven't been small enough to wear since I came back from a 2 year long strict diet of beans and rice. (central american open air meat markets aren't especially well known for their high standards in refrigeration making the idea of going veggie highly appealing despite the lack of many veggie option other than, well, veggies.
)

I feel like I purge incessantly, holding annual garage sales that usually end up yielding about $6.50 in pity offerings and then just give the rest away to anyone who happens to stroll by. Yet here I am sitting amid a sea of too-small clothing that has apparently been procreating too-small offspring in the dark underbelly of my bed.

If I had to do it once this month it might not be so bad but somehow I've got to figure out what to pack. How to pack it. What I'll use or might use while living out of my parent's guest room for the next 3 weeks. What I can keep in said guest room and what I'm willing to adventure to the garage for if needed. All so that I don't unpack too much stuff that I'll have to simply repack, needlessly for our move to Portland.

I suppose I could continue the rant however I'm down to 3 hours till the trucks here so I suppose I should figure out something with all these shoes i have....

Beth:)

PS- stay tuned to my blog for future installments of MOVING DAY to include my "Ode to The Whiteaker", "Smell ya Later Eugene" and "Moving Day part 2, the Big Move North".

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog

2008-08-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the most ingenious musical ever created! We were on the edge of our seats waiting for it to actually appear online after seeing the trailer. We then proceeded to gorge ourselves on the musical hilarity which has since caused involuntary outbursts of "...a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do..."

I'd recommend you don't watch it more than twice unless your bed buddy doesn't mind being awoken in the middle of the night to your unconscious nightime serenades. And now I present to you....

Fuck you Ticketmaster... (a 2 middle finger rant)

2008-04-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today i saw that Kids in the Hall are going to be performing live in Portland! What an awesome show that's going to be. I think to myself "why, I'D like to go to that show" so I go to check out ticket prices and they're $39.75 each! That's more than I've paid to see any show of any kind except maybe on Broadway in NYC. Tickets to the Sasquatch Music Festival are $60 a day but you get like 15 bands. Now, anyone who knows me knows just how royally I suck at math, but even I can figure out in my head that's a way better deal!

So I'm already grumpy about the idea of having to spend that kind of moolah when I notice that in addition to the nearly 40 bucks for the ticket they're also charging a "convenience fee" of $8.50 per ticket. CONVENIENCE???? Convenient for who? So I'm curious, just what exactly do you get for this fee? What is it that's so damn convenient I'm paying an extra $8.50 for? But, neigh my dear friends, you needn't bother looking. You won't find an answer anywhere on their website that I could see.

So my first thought is, well i suppose it must be for paying a guy to sit in the box office and for printing out those fancy tickets. But, like so many times when I follow an assumption that seems like it should be the right answer because it makes the most common sense, I was wrong.

They have a completely separate fee for that! And let's say you want to save THEM
the time and effort of having to get tickets to you by printing out your own tickets at home (and using about $3 worth of your own precious printer ink to do so) they are going to charge you another $2!!!!!!!!!!! To print out your own tickets! At your home! So that their job is easier and saves the company money!!!!! And that's the least expensive option from there you can go all the way up to paying an extra $23 delivery fee if you need them to overnight you tickets via UPS on a Saturday (just in case you wanted to keep that in mind for you future ticket buying endeavors)

I truly believe I would be less pissed about buying tickets costing $50.25 if they just say that up front. But noooooooooooo. Once again some douchbag in the marketing department has made it abundantly clear he needs to go back to school and take some sort of psycology class so he can understand that nobody thinks they're getting a much better deal if they see $3.99 instead of $4.00 just like nobody is going to think they're getting a better deal on $50 tickets if you tell them the price is half that and then tack on a bloody load of bullshit fees at the checkout.

For that and so much more I give Ticketmaster a big fat two middle finger salute!

RIVERDANCE - or "kill me, kill me now"

2008-01-09T22:31:00.000-08:00

RIVERDANCE - or "kill me, kill me now"

I admit, my first thought after being told by Garrett that he'd scored free tickets to Riverdance was to politely say 'no thank you' then kick him square in the crotch thus taking him by surprise so that I could escape this fate worse than death.

But then I began thinking. 'You know they've been around for a long time, there's obviously a reason they still perform to large sold out audiences. I enjoy celtic music and culture in general, this could be fairly entertaining. Perhaps a chance to learn a little about something I don't know much about."

Just in case anyone is wondering... I was wrong.

THE MUSIC-
Riverdance took celtic music drug it out into a dark alley shot it in the back of the head and then let Kenny G hump it's dead corpse.
Some of the music was canned but the musicians pretended to play anyway. There was an entire song that was an alto sax and jazz flute duel. 'nuff said.

THE DANCING-
Ok so they can move their feet real fast. Eh.
Again some of the tapping sounds were canned, which seemed really really weird to me.
There was a urban tap dance vs. celtic dance number that was impressive and at the same time hysterical as you could see they were trying to show the difference between classic and modern dance. Only the tap dance were moves right out of the late 80's movie TAPS.
It also consisted of the most yawn-inducing 'flamenco' on the face of the planet and "love" dance numbers more dispassionate than watching a 10$ hooker and a fat 60 year old John going at it in a seedy motel room. There was one dancer who was supposed to be wooing the main female and ate shit on stage. That was rather entertaining.

THE SINGING-
What the fuck? Seriously? Nappy time! Several people standing around on a dark stage with their heads cocked to one side to look into the audience. Generic voices, homoginized music, sappy lyrics and no movement. The first black man to appear on set happens about 3/4 of the way through the show. He gets off an old slave ship, dressed in old slave clothes to sing an old slave song. I don't think I was the only person wondering WTF that was all about. At least he had a great voice.

So in summary, fuck Riverdance for taking 2 hours of my life I will never get back but a big thank you to G for the amusing experience,for squelching torrents of laughter during the slow songs, for the beer during intermission to make the second half a little easier to sit through and for keeping me in my seat instead of making a big ugly scene every time that torturous jazz flute rose above the tappity tapping.

Ween-ies: Turn That Brown Upside Down....

2007-11-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

I have a special affinity for musicians that make good use of less common instruments, change up the beat often and are quirky in both styling and subject matter. And there are few bands I've come across that fit that niche better than WEEN. - Though, yes, that might not be saying much considering my relatively small collection of music, I DO have a strong opinion about what I do and don't like. I know it might seem weird to do a review style blog entry on a band as a whole rather than their new album, one that's already popular and one that's been around for more than 20 years. However, the whole WEEN experience is new to me and has made enough of an impression that I feel the need to comment on it, so here ya go

I was recently introduced to WEEN via a certain dashingly handsome and witty artichoke connoisseur. And I was surprised, after hearing so much about the band, that I wasn't really all that impressed at first listen. It was then explained to me that WEEN is a group that one needs to be eased into for maximum appreciation. So I asked for a little help. I suppose I should have stressed "a little" because promptly following that request I was handed
a stack of a dozen albums with instructions to give each album several listens before making a final judgment.

But with a long roadtrip and 3 WEEN shows looming in the approaching distance I decided to take on the challenge so that I could get the most out of my drunken nights of rockin. (and jumping around drunkenly in the crowd without being able to bellow out the lyrics along with other crazed and equally drunk fans just isn't me).

I took the albums and tucked them around places in my every day life. The Pod and Quebec in my desk at work, Chocolate and Cheese, The Mollusk and GodWeenSatan in my car and various other albums stashed in convenient locations like my purse, backpack and accidentally my dads car. (He's a big fan of the country album now, aside from references to big booty bitches on their knees giving blow jobs. I don't think religious people are allowed to laugh at that...though I'm almost sure I've heard him humming the song)

Little by little the songs, the albums, the band have grown on me and I've come to recognize a pattern. With WEEN there are 3 types of songs:
1) Songs I fucking love and can't get out of my head
Where most WEEN songs fall

2) Songs I don't fucking understand
Rampant- and clever- use of metaphors are usually to blame for this category

3) Songs that just creep me the fuck out
read: Spiral Meningitis (though I might slip Spiritwalker into this catagory too)

Many of the songs sound something similar to if OF MONTREAL, PRINCE and CAFE TA CUBA had threeway which produced a crack baby who grew up being molested by Frank Zappa and drank too much during it's developmental years then one day happened to stumble into a recording studio just after taking about 5 hits more acid than he needed to get high.
Sounds like a good reason why their popularity has exploded in recent years according to friends who are long time fans.

I've seen a lot of live shows and I can honestly say that the Santa Cruz WEEN show was by far the most enjoyable show I've ever seen - in ANY music catagory. Followed notably by that I should mention my violent loathing, my soul-wretching hatred, my pure and unadultered antipathy for "the encore". Nothing brings down my musical high like the band faking the end of the show to force the audience to stroke their ego by screaming and chanting their name when everyone knows they're coming back out to play more anyway. Not to say that WEEN didn't have that break in play. I nearly shite myself when I realized that an encore was about to be pulled out of the hat but then I realized that the band had just played for more than 2 hours (none of these shows had an opening act) so when the stage lights continued to pulse and flash to let everyone know it wasn't over followed shortly by the band returning with drinks in hand I felt the resentment trickle away. And the fact that they easily made up for the pause by promptly rocking a face melting mini-set to close the night, well that cemented my understanding of why those who love this band, LOVE this band.

Even being stuck at the back of the nosebleed section at the Warfield San Fransisco couldn't dampen the enjoyment- balcony moshpit anyone?-

What the f*ck is this ’Columbus Day’......?

2007-10-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

The encyclopedia says: "Columbus Day is a holiday celebrating the anniversary of the October 12, 1492 arrival of Christopher Columbus to the Americas."

So let's see if I've got this right, we have a holiday to celebrate the day a guy arrived in a place where there were already people living and that had already been visited by various expeditions from Europe, east asia, the Netherlands and that even the Phoenicians had been to before.

So why don't I have my own holiday? I've visited LOTS of places that already have people living there. And many a time I've visited a place that other people have visited before. In fact, it may even be at their recommendation that I visited.

I also notice that we don't have other holidays commemorating activities that eventually begot the demise of entire races and ways of life. And I promise I'm not over reacting here. (it's estimated europeans managed to wipe out 85% of the indigenous population within 150 years of Columbus' arrival)

I think the US is the only part of the Americas that continues to celebrate this day. Everyone else on this side of the planet has recognized that it's totally inappropriate and have changed the "holiday" to, instead, commemorate the poor bastards who were wiped out by the ensuing wars, smallpox outbreaks and seizure of land and material goods by those "brave discoverers". Celebrated as Día de la Raza (Day of the Race) in most countries in Latin America, Día de las Culturas (Day of the Cultures) in Costa Rica, and the newly-renamed (as of 2002) Día de la Resistencia Indígena (Day of Indigenous Resistance) in Venezuela.

It just seems fucked up, that's all I'm saying. That and I want my own damn holiday
Beth

PS- thanks to Garrett for being the catalyst for this rant!

Bad Case of the PC(Political Ca-Ca)

2007-07-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

I realize that this topic isn't exactly the most controversial. It's not highly likely many people would disagree that the extent of PC terminology has, in many cases, reach the level of sheer absurdity… except for maybe a few holding political office. But then they're mostly moronic douchebags anyway. Or should I say mentally alter-abled feminine cleansing aparati?

Most recent to catch my eye were articles written about Arnold Schwartenegger and his "girlie man" speech (in which he also used a statement encouraging people to go to the polls and vote to "terminate" the opposition).

"I'm going to TERMINATE my political career"

It's always a refreshing breath of democracy when an office holding human can cut the bullshit, uptight, stick in the ass crap that seems to so often come with the position they've been elected to and have a more laid-back approachable aire about them.

This only really works though if you're not an ex-movie star quoting over used pop culture lines from movies you did 25 years ago. Or also in this case, quotes used in parody of you on SNL. I'm a huge geek with questionable social abilities but even I know that's fucking lame. But this isn't even
at ALL what he's getting shit about!
No mention of how uncalled for or immature or really just flat out inappropriate using the phrases are. Nope. No mention. Oh but here's what they DO come up with…..
********
…." the governor used the "girlie-man" reference twice in the span of a 16- minute speech aimed at pressuring the Legislature to pass his budget, now 17 days late. The remark is an apparent reference to an old Saturday Night Live skit parodying Schwarzenegger. Comedians Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon played "pumped up" bodybuilders -- Hans and Franz -- with thick Austrian accents. Anyone without a muscled torso was dismissed as a "girlie-man."

Having used his charisma and celebrity to build relationships with lawmakers over the past eight months, the governor is adopting a combative new tone. He said he would strive to oust Democratic lawmakers who vote against his budget.

"I want each and every one of you to go the polls on Nov. 2nd," he said Saturday. "That will be judgment day. I want you to go to the polls. ... You are the terminators, yes!''

The governor's pugnacious turn raised objections Saturday, with the "girlie-man" reference becoming the focus.

"It's really painful to hear the governor resort to such blatant homophobia," said Sen. Sheila Kuehl, D-Santa Monica, who chairs the Senate's Natural Resources and Wildlife Committee. "It's an old-fashioned way of talking about gay men as to indicate they're not as strong. So that part is really painful. And I have to say it's really surprising. It's like he can't get his way so he resorts to some kind of name-calling."
**********

What the FUCK!?!? How in god's name do you come up with homophobia from a throw-back statement to a bodybuilding skit on classic SNL????(Albeit completely rediculous) Other statements accuse his speech as being sexist and derogatory towards women. No, you fucktards, you're giving him too much credit, he's just an idiot.

I'm totally in sync with PC terms that deem language, with negative -or other fucked up historical connotations- inappropriate, however…as much as I'd like to sidestep racial PC altogether, that's just not me And it's situations like this that have me totally confused and annoyed about PC terms.

If someone is black I say "the black guy". If they're white " the white guy'. How is this offensive to ANYONE? I've heard the arguments for "it's not nice to define people by the way they look."

WHAT??? What if I don't know the guys name? If I want to refer to the black guy in the room, I'm not going to discribe him as "the guy with the dark hair. No, no, he has dark eyes and sometimes he wears that cool green shirt…" No offence, but I live in Oregon, he's probably the only black guy in the room and it would save me a lot of time if you would just shut the hell up and let me say black guy.
Because he's black. Get over it! Though if I'm following those PC rules , technically I couldn't say anything about his hair or eyes either.... "what's his name, you know the guy that sits in the back with the great personality and peaceful aura about him". And it's not like anyone's going to call you the spikey-brownhaired- white guy after they know your name.

Ok so, for the moment, being the PC people we are, we should say African-American, Mexican-American, Asian-American etc. But what if your family's not from Africa (or Mexico etc)? I mean, ok, if you go back far enough we're ALL from Africa but what then if you're not American? Mexican-Canadian? Asian-British? And so if you're black and a dual citizen you're really screwed!! AfroColumbiAustralian? Shit. I get a stress ulcer just thinking about it.

Come to think of it that's an interesting thought….. is PC only a language spoken in the US? Something that incredibly confusing, time-consuming and pointless? That would make sense.
Look, now I'm all riled up. Curse you Girlie Man Schwartzenegger!

PS-If you don't believe me check out this link that has some funny (in a very, very sad way) collection of top No-no phrases.... such as "flip chart", "brainstorm" and "black coffee" (WHAT?!?!?!?!)
http://www.languagemonitor.com/wst_page20.html

Hints for the Clueless.....

2007-05-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

It's about time for me to put another reminder out into the cosmos for those who need a refresher course on how not to be so stupid, rude, an asshole, creepy or just plain clueless.

Number
1. If we are at work don't flirt with us or ask us out or make sensual eyes or rub your tounge along your lips trying to be sexy while you are in the store with your girlfriend. This is creepy. Also do not do any of the above while shopping for panties for your wife. Again, creepy.

2.Do not be a 49 year old fake tanned gymrat and write me something like this: "do you like beffy guys???????? not skinny little geeks?????????"

I will respond like this:
"I'll tell ya what I dig.
One- I dig guys that can spell. As in "beefy" not "beffy".
Which brings me to number....
Two-Geeks. I like them. They can spell. The read books and take classes for fun and hang out at geeky bars where everyone has stretched ears and lots of tattoos and talks politics and art and geeky shit like that.
Three- I dig guys who are not almost as old as my parents."

3. Men, thank god, are fairly simple creatures. Don't just expect them to know why you are mad at them. They are not mind readers. No matter how obvious you think what they've done 'wrong' is, don't expect them to have a clue unless you fucking say something! Do not play passive/aggressive mind games like this with them and then expect me to take your side when you complain about how thoughtless and rude they are. (what? for not apologizing for something they don't know they did wrong??!!) Men, this goes for you too.

4. Girls have boobs. Big girls have big boobs. If I was going to cover that shit up, I'd have to wear a turtle neck all year long. That's not going to happen. Skinny girls who have nice legs wear short skirts to show them off, I have nice big boobs... I'm going to show them off. They are after all just boobs. Your mom has them, your little sister has them, that creepy 200 year old crack lady on the corner has them, get over it.

It's fine to sneak a peek or to compliment my shirt. "wow, your shirt is very flattering" or "golly, you look hot tonight".
It is NOT fine to stare longingly at, drool on or touch the girls without being invited to do so. Keeping this in mind will ensure you go home with all of your fingers, balls and other extremities in tact.

Thanks for reading. Next time, "I shaved my legs for this??? How not to fuck up a date"

2007-02-16T18:37:00.000-08:00

Wow, We're really fucking cool.....heh

Go here for a slide show done by the Oregon Daily Emerald: Zombie SlideShow!!!!
(http://apps.dailyemerald.com/pages/multimedia/070216_zombies/)

Video Clips:
Zombie video clips

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Not your typical Valentine's Day

The day of love turns into the day of the dead when dozens of zombie-clad citizens stagger through the streets of Eugene

By: Mark Noack | Freelance reporter |

Issue date: 2/16/07 Section: News

Valentine's Day, the holiday for love, lust and... zombies. That's right, of all the days of the year, the undead of Eugene chose Valentine's Day to once again roam the earth.

Whether the zombies were suffering from supernatural heartbreak, were beckoned back from the dead by lovelorn souls, or were just plain necrophiliacs, was not really clear. But nonetheless it was a very popular night to be dead.

8:00 p.m. - More than 80 zombies (or rather, the people who were dressed as zombies) in varied states of semi-animated life congregated at Pioneer Cemetery, their eyes sunken, overwhelmed by their lust for flesh.

A few jugs of whiskey were being passed around, and many of the walking dead pulled out pocket flasks and beer bottles from their torn, blood-ridden cloths.

Apparently, all are equal among the dead. Zombies of all flavor came out that night: prom queens, soldiers, pregnant housewives, cheerleaders, surfers, goths, clowns and punks, to name a few. Everyone was splattered with at least a couple pints of what appeared to be blood, and then all joined the chorus of the zombie anthem:

"Brains..... brains... ugghhhhh..."

8:30 - The zombies were on the move, limping haltingly out of the graveyard and back to the living world.

Passing by the Knight Library, members of the mob spotted fresh meat inside, and the whole mob rushed to the windows. Pounding on the windows with flailing limbs, they were rewarded with some raised eyebrows from a lone man diligently reading inside. Little smears of blood dripped down the window after they left.

8:40 - After attacking the Pi Beta Phi sorority house and being shooed away by three women standing on the lawn, the undead mob continued on, stumbling haltingly onto Kincaid Street in search of delicious brains.

Finding none around the University, they were to settle instead for beer.

8:50 - Hobbling over to Taylor's Bar and Grille, the zombies entered, growling for booze. The bartender explained that it was still eight minutes until happy hour. All the zombies left immediately toward Max's.

Apparently, the dead are both impatient and penny-conscious.

9:00 - The undead mob wandered down E. 13th Ave. and a splinter group decided to enter the corner Starbucks franchise. Limping through the line to the barista, one zombie moaned for a mocha cappuccino "and a bran muufff-innnn....."

The manager approached zombie Courtney Anglin and asked her group to leave.

9:15 - A group of 12 zombies were drawn to the bright lights of Sacred Heart Medical Center's emergency room. Covered in blood and with puss-filled wounds, they hobbled in the entrance and through the waiting room. Shuffling past the confused patients while making zombie groans, they then calmly walked out the exit.

Ed Ingersoll, a hospital security guard, saw the undead crowd pass by.

"See that?" he said. "That looks like fun. Not your typical Valentine's Day crap."

9:30 - At Max's, only a handful of zombies could be found. Most, it seemed, went directly to Horsehead - the final destination on the zombie walk.

Recent University graduate Jody Trendler, who was dressed as a dead auto mechanic, sat drinking a beer at the bar while zombie prom queen Mira Horsky munched on her half-eaten hand.

The two women are bakers at Great Harvest Bread, and prepared a number of hands, arms, and other appendages shaped out of bread.

"I've done a Santa Claus pub crawl, but never anything like this," Trendler said.

10:00 - Moving on to Horsehead, it was clear from the street that the zombies had taken over the pub. Shoulder to shoulder, undead patrons crowded the bar, clawing fiendishly for the overwhelmed bartenders' attention.

At one of the tables sat Candee Cole, the director of Religious Education at Eugene's Unitarian Universalist Church, dressed as a zombie cook, soup ladle in hand.

"I was bitten by one of the many zombies who feast at Hometown Buffet," she said, squeezing a small rubber brain.

11:00 - Christopher Anglin, one of the organizers for the event, explained over not-his-first beer that there was no real significance to having a mass zombie rally on Valentine's Day. It was all a coincidence, he said.

"We just picked Valentine's day so we could have some fun." he said. "It's the last day you'd expect to see zombies."

Anglin took a sip of his beer and a stream of blood from the side of his mouth dripped into his drink.

He said that friends of his organized a similar zombie walk last year, alongside a daytime zombie event on Easter.

"That was so that people could bring their families and kids," said Anglin.

Additional info:
The local zombies who carved a swath of bloody, drunken carnage through town organized largely through the Internet and newspapers. MySpace and Craigslist provided a forum for area flesh-eating enthusiasts to meet and plan gatherings. Many zombies told the Emerald that they'd heard of the walk from a short piece in the Eugene Weekly newspaper.
For the living-dead, or their sympathizers who weren't aware of Wednesday's walk, the MySpace group "drunkenzombies" is a quick ticket to meeting like-minded folks.

Several became involved in the zombie walk through local kickball leagues. Players of the gym-class staple, organized locally through the NorthWest Association of Adult Competitive Kickball (NWAACK), can meet Sundays at 2 p.m. at a field at W. 20th Ave. and Washington St. The kickballers have an alliance with several of Eugene's zombies, and, if contacted, may be able to provide contacts within the zombie community.

Eugene Weekly

DATE WITH THE DEAD

"There are a lot of people in and out of relationships that have zombie-like characteristics either from not appreciating what they have, wanting what they can't have or just not being satisfied with themselves." So says 26-year-old nursing student Christopher Anglin, founder of Eugene's St. Valentine's Day Zombie Walk.

Although Zombie Walk flesh mobs occur around the world on various dates (see www.zombiewalk.com),Anglin thinks Valentine's Day is the perfect "Hallmark Holiday" to infect with humorous necropsy.

..>..>..>..> ..> ..>

"I actually met my fianc..e at a previous zombie walk so it works great as a dating tool. Zombies are HOT," Anglin says. "There will be couples and singles and they will all be wonderfully bloody. I'm personally not looking to make any deep statements about relationships with this event. I just wanna have some fun."

Anglin says the Zombie Walk isn't a political statement or a reason to misbehave. "Anyone that wants an excuse to riot or get drunk and harass people is not at all welcome."

At last year's inaugural Zombie Walk, Anglin and his mob of decrepit faux-flesh-eating souls gathered at the Pioneer Memorial Cemetery, startling unsuspecting citizens. "Every now and then a couple would stroll through holding hands," he says. "We would see them coming and all hide in different directions, then as they passed by, they would have some 20 zombies creeping out of nowhere towards them. Funny stuff." The unsightly mob then shambled into town, occupied various bars, then visited the Sacred Heart ER, much to the delight of the ER staff. He advises participants not to bite anyone for real, especially the police.

Anglin, who admits he has an unnatural obsession for zombie films, says he was inspired to create a Eugene Zombie Walk after reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. "I'm pretty sure the idea came to be after few beers also."

"Why Valentine's Day? Being single at the time and having a lot of friends that were either single or disinterested in the chocolate and flowers celebration, it seemed appropriate. It's fun to give people a shock. To see people forcing a nervous smile or laugh when they see the living dead approaching them. You know there has to be that one short moment when they're questioning whether or not this is the real thing. This really does scare some people. There was an incident in Vancouver, B.C., I believe, where a motorist tried to run some zombies down in his car."

Anglin says costumes and masks are unnecessary. "Zombies are just the average Joe that has become undead." The emphasis is on appearing like you've been dead for a while, and lots of blood. "If you have any extra body parts to carry around and chew on, even better." The second annual St. Valentine's Day Zombie Walk begins at 8 pm Wednesday, Feb. 14 at Pioneer Cemetery (18th & University). — John Dooley

10:23 AM - 1

Valentine's Day- undead style

2007-02-15T15:27:00.000-08:00

This should be fun.....
So after spending THEE best Valentine's day ever shuffling limply all about town, attacking traffic on W. 11th Ave and in drive thrus, Sorority houses and Coffee shops,Emergency rooms and bars I can only assume that you poor bastards will be looking through these photographic memories cursing the heavens that you once again spent too much money and used too little imagination in your V-day exploits.... Enjoy
PS- If you were there PLEASE share your photos with me, send me a message and/or feel free to download any of the pics for your own memory book.

And now without further ado.....

Zombies- check out that fabu makeup job!

Meeting at the Cemetary

What's up with that skyline? Sweet!

Feeling at home

Uuuughhhhhh rrrrgggghhhhh!

Shuffling through the graveyard

Sharing the zombie love with a UofO study center

Sorority Girls in the windows-checking out the commotion

Sweet Photo!

Zombie attack on the bus system

Zombie exacting revenge on the renegade group of zombie killers

Braaaains!

Drive-Thru

ER visit-

Our city's finest hard at work...

Shuffling down the sidewalk

What's a zombie gotta do to get a beer around here?? Finally we reach the bar..

Thriller! Zombie dance party...

PS- Yes, I realize that I'm making the EXACT same face in every photo. Thanks.

There's a reason VD also stands for Valentine's Day....

2007-02-13T17:21:00.000-08:00

I love that M&M's puts out candies that are color coordinated with the seasons. Not that I need a reason to crunch on one of these tasty peanutty treats but the fact that they only come in pink or pastel green or black once a year gives me another good reason to indulge a little.

Does anyone still buy this Valentine's day crap? They must. I walk into a grocery store and it's a virtual mad dash and mauling to snatch up the last tacky celophaned box of waxy goo filled chocolates and bunch of smelly, overpriced, wilting roses. When...what....who...I don't understand!!!!

Men are simple creatures. I love them for that. It's greatly appreciated because god knows we women can be complex and confounding beings. You even us out. But I honestly don't understand things like the cute athletic 20 year old standing in front of me at Albertson's with a heart shaped box of candies he literally dug out of the discount cart on isle 4. And a card I saw him pick up off the magazine rack while waiting in line that someone else had decided against buying. Does he not get it? Does he not care? It seems that he's gotten far too accustomed to living off his good looks to bother putting forth any effort. The scarier thing is that somewhere out there is a girl who's going to squeal with delight, feigned or not, when he hands over the chocolates and the card.... the bouquet of roses and then 'surprise' her with dinner at a restaurant (oh. ah.... yawn)
In case anyone is wondering this would be the quickest way in my book to get dumped. Where is the romance in doing what everyone else is doing? Why is buying expensive jewelry a symbol of how much you care about someone?

This makes me intensely annoyed, nauseated even. I say, how much you care about someone should be directly related to how cleverly you can NOT spend money! How memorable can you make this evening? Money can buy just about everything... Creativity, however is not one of those things. This year, sans date (or much $$), I expect to be very memorable indeed!
Can anyone say V-day Zombie Pub Crawl? That's right, zombie.

A note to anyone I date in the future... If I can find this much entertainment on V-day without you, you've got quite a challenge to outdo do it for next year! Good luck with that!

Those ol' love/hate feelings...

2006-12-23T17:20:00.000-08:00

5 things that make me want to kick our lazy brain-dead consumerist driven society in the collective balls.

1) Flavored cream cheese.- save yourself a whole 2 seconds by not having to ALSO open that cumbersome jar of jam. And just think of all the extra presertitives you get! Wheeeee!

2) Self-parking cars.- yeah, don't spend an hour on a saturday afternoon actually learning how to drive and park your own car. Oh, wait, isn't this something you were supposed to know how to do to get your license in the first place? If I show up with a car that has this feature do I have to prove the car can actually do it or do I automatically pass that section of the test?

3) TV.- The nearly inevitable black hole of time, space and creativity conveniently located right in the middle of your living room. And bedroom, and some kitchens and I stayed at a hotel once that had it in the bath too.

4) Genetically engineered food- ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

5) High-ticket items' marketing- "oh, gee honey aren't you sweet. Merry Christmas to you too *peck on the cheek*" Applies to all of this year's radio/tv/movie/print advertising for $50,000 vehicles, gaudy diamond jewlery that's worth more than my life (or all those in africa who died of slave labor abuses to harvest that diamond), Washing machine/ dryer sets that cost 10 grand, Fridges with built-in, touch screens, a NEWER iPod, a FASTER computer and a BIGGER/FLATTER/HIGHER-DEF tv all to replace the models you got last year.

5 things I secretly love about the rediculous amount of technology available:

1) Cell phones- I hate the stupid bitch in the corner of the coffee shop bellowing into her phone to her best friend about how 'Sandy totally dated him before Carrie even knew who he was, can you believe it?!?!' But I love that I can get calls no matter where I am. Very supportive of activites such as last minute bar crawls, drunken dialing and when you run out of gas on the side of the road.

2) The internet. -I know, big duh. But seriously, the days of the eternal brain fart are gone! Can't remember that one actors name? Some historical fact you know you knew at one time but since you slept through most of 1st period american history in high school you can't recall it now? You can just hop on the internet and find your answer in under 1 minute if you know where to look. No more "it's on the tip of my tounge". And with that comes online radio. You can live in any little hole of a city, like say, oh Eugene, where there are 4 radio stations, but it doesnt matter because you can get online and listen for days and days to any genre of music your little heart desires with 'nary a commercial.

3)That being said I'll also include My laptop- I've got a crapload of work to get done. But am I doomed to spend the whole day at my desk or in the office? NO! Now, I'm doing it the park, at the coffee shop, in the car on the way to some much more interesting activity, at the parents to simultaneously fulfill familiar obligations, If I ever rode the bus like a good little hippie, I could do it there too. Freedom in some sence, granted you're still working but fuck that office cubicle!

4) Hybred vehicles.- Bio-disel, electric hybrids and all that other eco-friendly crap. But you have to admit it's really cool to see SOME sort of action FINALLY being taken. Even if they only make a big deal about it to advert our attention from all the other shit they're NOT doing.

5) ok, maybe there are only 4, If I think of anything else you'll be the first to know.

In the wee small hours of the morning....

2006-12-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

It's 5:14am- the alarm goes off and I'm literally shocked out of bed. My legs swing themselves over the edge and I sit up, teetering for a moment as I try to grasp my bearings. I lean over switch on the bedside lamp and recoil in horror as the light exorcises the sleep demon from my eyes.
"maybe this wasn't such a good idea". It's the same thought I had yesterday morning. But was it only yesterday? It seems to me at this moment that yesterday morning was more like a month ago.
I stumble to the bathroom and am acosted by the icy livingroom air. (Turning off the heat at night to conserve energy has obviously failed miserably as a clever idea.) I trip backwards into my bedroom and slam the door shut. "Quick, quick, make it quick" I think and begin throwing on layers of clothing. Polished off with thick socks and a scarf I stretch my legs, grab my iPod and make another attempt.
The early morning air burns my cheeks and at the first deep breath I gasp as the frozen stillness solidifies my insides with it's dry but glacial touch.
I take off down the street towards the bike path and realize that I've already learned many interesting things thanks to my newest self-inflicted torture.

1. I've lived in Oregon my whole life yet somehow the short-ass Summer alway succeeds in making me forget how fucking cold it can get here.

2. Despite aformentioned cold, it is NOT necessary for one to wear many layers when running unless one enjoys the added challenge of stripping down to one's tank top and then trying to figure out how to carry a scarf, sweatshirt, long-sleeved UofO jersy, gloves, t-shirt and jog at the same time.

3.If one has a well endowed chest-al region it is not an altogether ineffective solution to double up on the support of said region.

4. Nothing will cure your craving for a cigarette like wheezing your way up and down the bike path. Nature's way of kicking you in the balls for having started in the first place.

5.It's still dark at 5:30am. And at 6am and 6:30. This being a facinating observance since I've only ever been up at this hour while drunk during the summer months and without the confusing element of pre-dawn sleep.

6. Humans are not camels. The human belly is not designed to be loaded with water before a run. Such actions result, apparently, in stomach pain, side aches and yes it is humanly possible to vomit nothing but water.

7. My roommate doesn't sleep at night.

8. There are alot of hobos on the bike path at 5:30am.

I feel that I owe a debt of graditude to my new morning ritual. A healthier body (possibility of self-induced heart attacks aside) and a broader knowledge of the world around me. I think of all the facinating things I've already learned from my little jaunts.... and I still rather be sleeping in.

Monday Night's Bordom is the Mother of Creativity

2006-12-06T20:14:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you're bored? Some people snack and others watch the boob-tube. The artsy kind might pull out their instument of choice and strum or pound away while others might brandish their paints or pastels.
Some might call a friend on the phone and gab for an hour or find some undone housework that should have been started and finished so many days ago. And they'll start it and somehow it still won't get finished.
Personal preference would lean me towards a bordom blues cure of the liquid kind. But financial constraints, (or complete and utter lack of funds altogether) prevent me from following that course of relief. So instead what results is a self-photographic exhibition of my sober stupor posted below. Wistful looks? Dreamy eyes? Pensive mood? Nope it's just my 'Damn, I need a beer' face.

5 reasons not to hate his Exes

2006-11-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

Something I wrote for a friend last year (who I happened to meet because she was dating one of my exes). A conversation I had today reminded me of it. And since I thought it was kind of clever, I'm sharing with you.

5 reasons not to hate his ex-girlfriends

It could be easy to harbor some small amount of animosity towards your new lover's ex but here are a few reasons that it's not necessary.

1. Who he is today

A lot of the things you love about him can be attributed to things he learned to do or NOT do, as the case may be, in past relationships. You learned how to communicate better, how to be more thoughtful and how to disagree/argue more effectively (hopefully) by practicing on your exes and so has everyone else.

2. Tell-tale of his character

A guy who remains friends with an ex might feel a little uncomfortable for you at first but you should think about all the great things that says about his personality. He understands that relationships between men and women don't have to always be sexual and that even if they were at one point, he's mature enough to know that just because it didn't work romantically doesn't mean he has to miss out on all the things he has in common with that person as a friend.

3. He's with you, not her

You don't have to worry about him running off with an ex. Most guys could give you hours of detailed stories pertaining to why they broke up with their ex. Though they probably shouldn't spout off about it unless asked. There is a reason that he's with you not her. (Though if he doesn't have ANY stories about why he's not with her.... head's up!! )

4. Those wild things he does in the bedroom

He might be creative but you don't really think he just came up with those on his own do you? Nope, not a night of watching cheap cheesey porn movies either. You can probably thank one of his Exes for him helping hone that crazy streak.

5. You both have an entire life that exsisted before eachother

How obnoxious is it to be around people who are so googely over each other that they don't realize anything else in the world exists. If you don't want to hear about any of the things he did with exes you're going to miss a lot. Think about how many funny stories, cool trips and amazing things you've seen in the past that happened while you were out with some one you were dating. If you get weird about it you're going to miss out on knowing your guy better, understanding where he's coming from and the cool stuff he's seen and done.

Extra Credit-

There's no better 'vengance' than happiness. Be yourself, be friendly, be confident. What? She's going to hate you because you're genuinely nice? Who knows, you might find out you actually have some things in common (besides him).

"Nice Guys", Random guys, weird guys... I give up, you guys...

2006-10-31T16:12:00.000-08:00

It's true we women want a nice guy. Even if he's a bad boy we want him to be nice, right? But there's a difference between a guy who's nice and a 'nice guy'. How often do you hear 'nice guys' bitching about how "women always say they want a nice guy but they never give us a chance. I'm always a friend but never a boyfriend." Boo fucking hoo! I think 'nice guys' are missing the point. We want a nice guy not a wiener!!! Let me explain how this works. 'Nice guy' means you open the door for us or ask about our day and actually listen once in a while. 'Nice guy' does NOT mean a shy sci-fi fan with shaky social skills. 'Nice guy' does NOT mean awkward self-conscious video gamer who hasn't figured out that there exists a whole world of clothing outside his 5 year old tapered leg jeans and old t-shirts.

Why are we supposed to feel guilty for not trying a 'nice guy' if we don't even have anything in common with him. Like really wanting to go buy one of those cute purebred boxer pups to guard the family but feeling bad because you're "supposed" to go to the pound and give one of the scrawny weird yappy mutts with house training issues a chance. Maybe 'nice guys' should try projecting their feelings onto a girl that they actually have something in common with. It's not that difficult of a concept. You really like something, you find a girl who also enjoys that something. You have lots of things you like, you find a girl who likes those things. You see where I'm going with this?

Sure there are those really high-maintaince girls who wouldn't date a 'nice guy' because he's not handsome enough or doesn't make enough money but give me a fucking break!! We're not all shallow bitches.

All that the most of us EVER ask is that the guy is:

A) reasonably intelligent
You say you finished high school? Then you should know the difference between: your and you're --- they're, there and their. It not that hard. In fact it's something we all learned in 6th grade, 6TH GRADE PEOPLE!!!! Speaking/ writing in full sentences is always appreciated. White guys using Ebonics is not. (And as I once read: "wat's up, yo". GODDAMNIT! One letter cannot possibly cost you enough time that it's worth sacrificing your dignity.)

B) I have my requisite 28.
If you don't know what I'm referring to, you shouldn't be so fucking surprised nobody wants to date you. If you DO know what I..m referring to and you just took the time to "count", you shouldn't be so fucking surprised nobody wants to date you. If you have all the original 32 it's no big deal but if you're missing any (especially the visible ones) it's going to be a deal breaker. Brush your fucking teeth.

C) Money, looks and other superficial stuff:
Most of us don't care if you make a load of money. We DO care if you're lazy, don't have goals, don't have a job or no plan for your life. Most of us don't care if you..re not 'hot'. We DO care if you act in a way to let everyone know you feel you're not 'hot'. Most of us don't care that you're not a wild nightclubbing party animal. We DO care if you spend most of your spare time playing video games, vegging on the sofa in front of the boob-tube or don't EVER want to go do something wild and crazy.

There's so much more to blather on about but I give up. You guys are on your own.

2006-10-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

Oregon Country Fair 2006

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Brooklyn Kickballers are cool....

2006-10-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Brooklyn kickballers for giving me an idea for my next little side project for our own NWAACK team... Music Montage!!!!!

Things About Boys....

2006-08-04T17:35:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Oh, for the love of all that's holy! If you don't know me and my sence of humor or that I'm usually bizarre-ish-ly optimistic 98.3452938483% of the time, don't leave me rude comments. Yes, I'm well traveled, no I don't hate men, no I'm not going to become a bitter man-hating lesbian and I never said ALL guys. Go find your funny bone! And now my original blog post:

I have my moments where I lack faith in the opposite sex. Bare with me while I rant just a little- My obnoxious optimism will be back shortly~

> Even at 25/29/34 years old, there are still guys who tell you anything to get in your pants- and you can never tell who they are.

> You're tempted to believe: "What's WRONG with me??? Why can't I just find a good guy?"

The truth of it is: "You can't be a better judge of character than they are liar"

> Hey Boys!!- Hiding or omission of important facts such as "I have a girlfriend/wife/12 kids/ drug problem/ am from an alien planet", is still lying!

> Regardless of what you think (or what your friends have told you) No, you're NOT that attractive- and there's no way in hell you're ever going to get a super model to date you.

> And since we're giving advice, here are a few things I'm going to throw out there into the cosmos so you guys can get your acts together!

1. Never, EVER take your pants off first. You standing around in your socks with your willie poking out from under your t-shirt is not, NOT sexy and she's either going to cringe and think very seriously about faking an athesma attack or you're not going to see her after tonight . Probably both. So for the love of all that is holey (and that should not be a reference to your socks or underwear) THE SOCKS ALWAYS GO FIRST!

2. Asking if she has come yet. You really should be able to tell. If she really came, you'd know she came and if she faked it, you'd think she came . Most women make noise but if you really don't know, don't ask. In fact if you can't tell you shouldn't be allowed to have sex. HOW THE HELL did you even get laid?!?!

3. Please and Thank You manners do not apply. Don't ask if you can kiss her. If you feel the vibe, grow some balls and just kiss her already. Same with sex, she'll let you know she' s interested, or not. Nothing says "I'm hoping you're cheap and easy" like trying to drag her to the bedroom or asking her if she wants to "do it".

4. Thanking her. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. She's not a charity worker and your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

5. If you're being blessed with a bit of oral pleasure, don't thrust (unless you want to be dry heaved upon) don't sneer profanities or dirty talk at this point in time (unless you want her to feel like a hooker) & don't grab her head (unless you want to get bit, and not in the good way)

6. Using too little tongue is passable, kissing with too much tongue or trying to pull that huge, open mouthed suction cup hollywood kiss and you'll never get to second base.

7. and last but not least, a little drunken action is not a marriage proposal, or even a relationship proposal. But that also doesn't mean we want to be ignored or get the awkward "hey" with no eye-contact for months afterward. We're all adults, and us girls are not your physco ex, so quit taking it out on us.

I still love you guys- Beth

Prince Charmings need not apply...

2006-08-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

No wonder so many women are unhappy in love. "where's my Prince Charming to take me away from it all? My handsome prince who will shower me with affection and gifts and flowers etc, etc, etc"

these must be women who are single with kids, still get perms on a regular basis and spend far too much time scrapbooking because they are obviously not living in the present or in any known reality.
Here's what I don't get about the whole 'fantasy':
1. The guy wears purple tights. Now, I'm all for a guy in drag, but never at any point in time during ANY century have tights ever been manly. Yet, here's our Prince Charming prancing around the countryside in them. An entire wardrobe of leotards, because someone told him they were in this season so he went along with it. Trust me kids, that is a high maintenance hombre right there!
2. He kills endangered animals for a living, thus, single handedly obliterating an entire, albeit fictional, species.
and 3. He's got a large, white, hairy beast of burden following him around everywhere. I love horses but I'm pretty sure there's something not all together natural about spending that much alone time with your steed.

Alright, so If I've no interest in Prince Charming- and don't even get me started on 'The Perfect Man"- What could I possibly be looking for..... I like to call him Mr. Wonderfully Flawed.

He would probably have body art and piercings. He'd be artistic and maybe a little (or a lot) nerdy. He'd be a master in the long lost arts of things such as spellcheck and using capitol letters at the beginning of sentences when he writes. He'd pick wild flowers as a romantic gesture because he'd know how I value the thought behind the effort and he'd drink a beer in the park with me on Valentine's Day as we laugh about all the people who just spent $150 on a mediocre dinner in a crowded restaurant just to impress a girl.

He'd be a guy who's positive and passionate about life. A guy who doesn't NEED me, but is sure glad I'm around. A guy who will let me test out my newest kitchen experiment on him and will let me drag him to the occasional latin dance even if he can't seem to get his hips to do anything but convulse awkwardly in an opposite direction from the rest of his body.

He'd love, more than anything, to travel. He'd love staying in hostels because of all the strange and wonderful people you meet there. He'd be grateful we were blessed to be born in this country but his heart would break over the injustice that befalls the innocent and the poor the world over.

His favorite way to end an argument would be to agree to disagree and then partake in a little bit of wild, mid-day nookie, just to show there are no hard feelings.

He'd love my quirkiness and my kinkiness and how content I am not looking like a super-model and even how I have a tendency to ramble when I've had a few too many drinks, about all the amazing things I've seen on the Discovery Channel. He'd also appreciate that I'm straight forward and prefer to tell it like it is. That, if I had fun on Thursday, I'm not waiting 3 days to call again. It doesn't mean I want to get married for god's sake! Just that I had fun and don't really want to wait till Monday to make plans to hang out again because I'm too lazy for mind games.

I realize that a Mr. Wonderfully Flawed may very well be as hard to find as a guy in purple tights on a white charger meandering about town, but I hold out hope that he's out there somewhere.
~Beth

anti-terrorist PSA

2006-07-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

Things that make you go mmmm... oh yeahhhhhhh

2006-06-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

A short list of things that cause that deliciously involuntary moaning....

Number 5...
Coffee,
You got 3 hours of sleep last night and now you have to get up at 6am and sit through a math class, work meeting or other monotonous but required activity. You don't know how you're going to even stay awake to put your shoes on and drive there but then that rich delectable aroma comes bellowing out of the coffee maker, filling the entire house... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah!

Number 4....
Ice cold water,
It's 100 degrees outside, you can barely breathe from the heat yet for some reason (mostly the lack of sun due Oregon's obnoxiously loooong winter) you've decided to do some sort of outdoor activity (yea, kickball!) OR have been drinking all night and now you've passed out and can't wake up but are dreaming about how thirsty you are... then FINALLY somehow you meet up with that glass of lucious ice cold crusty-something-crawled-in-my-mouth-and-died curing water... that first sip? OHHHHHHHHH yeahhhhh!

Number 3....
Peeing,
You're 3 hours into a long car trip. After 2 pre-trip beers. And a Rockstar to keep awake. AND a bottle of water for hydration. Your bladder is buldging,you're sitting like a 2x4 to avoid any undue pressure on your lower region, you're trying to think about ANYTHING except how bad you have to pee and are actually trying to determine how long it would take to live down wetting yourself in the car or taking a leak on the side of the freeway with 'neer a bush to hide you while you do your deed. Finally salvation is on the horizon and you scream and swear violence upon the driver if they don't pull over for that rest stop. Somehow you are magically capable of leaping from the car before it comes to a full stop, sprinting to the nearest restroom (boys', girls' who cares at this point) and shove a little old lady out of the way. You cop a squat and release. OOOhhh Ohhhhh OOHHHHHH YEAHHHHH!!!

Number 2,
Sex (of course)
No explaination needed unless you've only had bad sex and then you wouldn't understand anyway would you?

And the Number 1 action that feels soooo good you can't control those ungodly moans of sheer and utter pleasure
ALLERGIES!!
Only those who suffer from this seasonal hell will understand. The ragweed and grass pollen is so heavy in the air that a smog-like cloud hangs heavily over the valley. Your nose runs, your chest wheezes with every breath and your EYES DEAR GOD YOUR EYES. How they burn. How they itch. If...only...you...could...just...but NO, you musn't, it will only make it worse! Well, maybe just a little rub. Just a quick... little... ohhhh ohhhh OHHHH YESSS HARDER, FASTER, BACK AND FORTH SOOO. GOOOD.

and that's my list of things that make you go mmmmmmm.
Any you can think of?

a little like prison...

2006-06-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

I graduated yesterday!!!!! After years of changing majors, taking sabbaticals, travelling, coming back to study and finally going insane for 9 months while finishing up non-stop projects for Graphic Design classes.... I'm done. Suddenly, I'm done. No more nights that I can't afford to sleep for getting a project done on time. No more studying at the bar, no more homework or Kinko's or stress that makes me want to cry because I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Like a prisoner that's just been granted freedom, I don't know what to do with myself! I might actually have to create a to do list just so I have something TO do. It's that love hate relationship.... Wow, I'm going to go figure out how to be a productive member of society... Beer anyone?

beer alteration amendment

2006-04-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I took my new lighter beer goal to heart and started off the night with a couple of Sessions... ok not so bad...not so good either but what ever. I had a pabst- REALLY not so good and stole someone's something else that wasn't good either... then I fell off the wagon and bought a Lagunitas IPA. DEAR JEZUS JesuChristo-Madremia-de-la- Virgin-de-Guadalupe Santisima! I learned an important lesson.... Fuck light beer. Yup, that's it. Fuck light beer. It's obvious that it will be infintely easier to learn to pace myself throughout the night and nurse my beloved micros than to give them up. I'm happy, the bar is happy (micros, if you didn't know, cost at least twice as much) I support local business (breweries) and they're happy... my liver? not so happy... but who ever gave a shit what their liver had to say about the matter?

The beer alteration chronicels

2006-04-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

The beer snob's 12 step program

(The Introduction)
Hello, my name is Beth, I am a brew snob. I just can't seem to bring myself to gag down a bad beer. I'd rather be at a party drinking a water than a Miller lite. ACK!
I'm here because I believe I finally hit rock bottom Last Friday. A night of friends, music and beer. I would have loved to join in the drinking all night (which ended somewhere around 5am). Unfortunately since I started tossing back microbrews right from the start by the 4th one I was already so buzzed I could hardly see straight. At some point I may or may not have put down another one or two but even so by the time we headed over to the Horsehead I was nursing ice water so that I could at the very least give directions back to my house later on.
The water sipping continued through out the rest of the night and I do feel bitter about this. At some point there were group shots being taken, beers being passed around and couple rounds of drinking games. All of which I had to sideline to avoid passing out face first on the porch or where ever I might have been.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I needed to join this 12 step program. 12 steps to the appreciation of lighter beers. Crappy beer does have it's advantages as many of you already know... things such as $1 pabst nights (never get that if you're a Lagunitas fan) Nearly half the calories, and the the wonders that come of being able to drink all night without getting so incredibly blitzed that I can't remeber if the band was any good or not.

How do I LOATHE monday mornings?.... let me count the ways....

2006-04-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

So I sit here in class. Completely and utterly zoned out. Who's great fucking idea was it to stick of room full of hands-on, artsy-fartsy design students in a 3 hour lecture class on the technical layouts of print files at 8:30 on a monday morning??!?!? Stupid bastards! Insipid morons!

I glance around and notice at least 4 other students, at this very moment are losing their battle against nodding off and drooling all over their keyboards as the teacher drones on about how exciting it can be to create brochures using a duotone process. I hear words like POSTSCRIPT and VECTOR and RASTERIZING IMAGES and can't recall for the life of me what exactly they mean. I suppose it's good I can at least recognize that I'm supposed to know what they mean. Though, not such a good thing that I can't recall them and I'm graduating in 8 weeks.

Nobody's paying attention, yet he keeps asking questions that nobody can (or will) answer. Then stands there "anybody? any ideas? anyone?.....no? OK let me tell you" and off he goes yammering about bleed and trim lines. Once again quips "does everyone understand? any questions.. no?"

The class is silent, we've all either dozed off in the dimmed light near the back of the room or just given up on the hope of there being any good in the world and passed out from hopelessness...
DEAR GOD WHY???? WHY, why WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!!?