Fuck you Ticketmaster... (a 2 middle finger rant)

Today i saw that Kids in the Hall are going to be performing live in Portland! What an awesome show that's going to be. I think to myself "why, I'D like to go to that show" so I go to check out ticket prices and they're $39.75 each! That's more than I've paid to see any show of any kind except maybe on Broadway in NYC. Tickets to the Sasquatch Music Festival are $60 a day but you get like 15 bands. Now, anyone who knows me knows just how royally I suck at math, but even I can figure out in my head that's a way better deal!

So I'm already grumpy about the idea of having to spend that kind of moolah when I notice that in addition to the nearly 40 bucks for the ticket they're also charging a "convenience fee" of $8.50 per ticket. CONVENIENCE???? Convenient for who? So I'm curious, just what exactly do you get for this fee? What is it that's so damn convenient I'm paying an extra $8.50 for? But, neigh my dear friends, you needn't bother looking. You won't find an answer anywhere on their website that I could see.

So my first thought is, well i suppose it must be for paying a guy to sit in the box office and for printing out those fancy tickets. But, like so many times when I follow an assumption that seems like it should be the right answer because it makes the most common sense, I was wrong.

They have a completely separate fee for that! And let's say you want to save THEM
the time and effort of having to get tickets to you by printing out your own tickets at home (and using about $3 worth of your own precious printer ink to do so) they are going to charge you another $2!!!!!!!!!!! To print out your own tickets! At your home! So that their job is easier and saves the company money!!!!! And that's the least expensive option from there you can go all the way up to paying an extra $23 delivery fee if you need them to overnight you tickets via UPS on a Saturday (just in case you wanted to keep that in mind for you future ticket buying endeavors)

I truly believe I would be less pissed about buying tickets costing $50.25 if they just say that up front. But noooooooooooo. Once again some douchbag in the marketing department has made it abundantly clear he needs to go back to school and take some sort of psycology class so he can understand that nobody thinks they're getting a much better deal if they see $3.99 instead of $4.00 just like nobody is going to think they're getting a better deal on $50 tickets if you tell them the price is half that and then tack on a bloody load of bullshit fees at the checkout.

For that and so much more I give Ticketmaster a big fat two middle finger salute!