Tuesday, October 31, 2006


"Nice Guys", Random guys, weird guys... I give up, you guys...

It's true we women want a nice guy. Even if he's a bad boy we want him to be nice, right? But there's a difference between a guy who's nice and a 'nice guy'. How often do you hear 'nice guys' bitching about how "women always say they want a nice guy but they never give us a chance. I'm always a friend but never a boyfriend." Boo fucking hoo! I think 'nice guys' are missing the point. We want a nice guy not a wiener!!! Let me explain how this works. 'Nice guy' means you open the door for us or ask about our day and actually listen once in a while. 'Nice guy' does NOT mean a devastatingly shy sci-fi fan with shaky social skills. 'Nice guy' does NOT mean awkward self-conscious video gamer who hasn't figured out that there exists a whole world of clothing outside his stained 5 year old high waisted jeans and holey t-shirts.

Why are we supposed to feel guilty for not trying a 'nice guy' if we don't even have anything in common with him. Like really wanting to go buy an adorable purebred boxer pup to train to guard the family but feeling bad because you're "supposed" to go to the pound and give one of the scrawny weird yappy mutts with house training issues a chance. Maybe 'nice guys' should try projecting their feelings onto a girl that they actually have something in common with. It's not that difficult of a concept. You really like something, you find a girl who also enjoys that something. You have lots of things you like, you find a girl who likes those things. You see where I'm going with this?

Sure there are those really high-maintenance girls who wouldn't date a 'nice guy' because he's not handsome enough or doesn't make enough money but give me a fucking break!! We're not all shallow bitches.

All that the most of us EVER ask is that the guy is:

A) reasonably intelligent
You say you finished high school? Then you should know the difference between: your and you're --- they're, there and their. It not that hard. In fact it's something we all learned in 6th grade, 6TH GRADE PEOPLE!!!! Speaking/ writing in full sentences is always appreciated.  (And as I once read: "wat's up, yo". GODDAMNIT! One letter cannot possibly cost you enough time that it's worth sacrificing your dignity.)

B) I have my requisite 28.
If you don't know what I'm referring to, you shouldn't be so fucking surprised nobody wants to date you. If you DO know what I'm referring to and you just took the time to "count", you shouldn't be so fucking surprised nobody wants to date you. If you have all the original 32 it's no big deal but if you're missing any due to negligence (especially the visible ones) it's probably going to be a deal breaker. Brush your fucking teeth.

C) Money, looks and other superficial stuff:
Most of us don't care if you make a load of money. We DO care if you're lazy, don't have goals, don't have a job or no plan for your life. Most of us don't care if you're not 'hot'. We DO care if you act in a way that lets everyone know you're obsessively self-conscious. Most of us don't care that you're not a wild nightclubbing party animal. We DO care if you spend most of your spare time playing video games in a dark room on sunny days, vegging on the sofa in front of the boob-tube or refuse to EVER go do something wild and crazy.

There's so much more to blather on about but I give up. You guys are on your own.

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