Monday, June 26, 2006

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Things that make you go mmmm... oh yeahhhhhhh

A short list of things that cause that deliciously involuntary moaning....

Number 5...
Coffee,
You got 3 hours of sleep last night and now you have to get up at 6am and sit through a math class, work meeting or other monotonous but required activity. You don't know how you're going to even stay awake to put your shoes on and drive there but then that rich delectable aroma comes bellowing out of the coffee maker, filling the entire house... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah!

Number 4....
Ice cold water,
It's 100 degrees outside, you can barely breathe from the heat yet for some reason (mostly the lack of sun due Oregon's obnoxiously loooong winter) you've decided to do some sort of outdoor activity (yea, kickball!) OR have been drinking all night and now you've passed out and can't wake up but are dreaming about how thirsty you are... then FINALLY somehow you meet up with that glass of lucious ice cold crusty-something-crawled-in-my-mouth-and-died curing water... that first sip? OHHHHHHHHH yeahhhhh!

Number 3....
Peeing,
You're 3 hours into a long car trip. After 2 pre-trip beers. And a Rockstar to keep awake. AND a bottle of water for hydration. Your bladder is buldging,you're sitting like a 2x4 to avoid any undue pressure on your lower region, you're trying to think about ANYTHING except how bad you have to pee and are actually trying to determine how long it would take to live down wetting yourself in the car or taking a leak on the side of the freeway with 'neer a bush to hide you while you do your deed. Finally salvation is on the horizon and you scream and swear violence upon the driver if they don't pull over for that rest stop. Somehow you are magically capable of leaping from the car before it comes to a full stop, sprinting to the nearest restroom (boys', girls' who cares at this point) and shove a little old lady out of the way. You cop a squat and release. OOOhhh Ohhhhh OOHHHHHH YEAHHHHH!!!

Number 2,
Sex (of course)
No explaination needed unless you've only had bad sex and then you wouldn't understand anyway would you?

And the Number 1 action that feels soooo good you can't control those ungodly moans of sheer and utter pleasure
ALLERGIES!!
Only those who suffer from this seasonal hell will understand. The ragweed and grass pollen is so heavy in the air that a smog-like cloud hangs heavily over the valley. Your nose runs, your chest wheezes with every breath and your EYES DEAR GOD YOUR EYES. How they burn. How they itch. If...only...you...could...just...but NO, you musn't, it will only make it worse! Well, maybe just a little rub. Just a quick... little... ohhhh ohhhh OHHHH YESSS HARDER, FASTER, BACK AND FORTH SOOO. GOOOD.

and that's my list of things that make you go mmmmmmm.
Any you can think of?

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